44. The Messengers (2007) (The Death Of Horror)

Remember that shitty Kristen Stewart movie that was vaguely supernatural? Not narrowing it down enough? This one was driven by crows. The crows showed up with the plot and a family straight out of Full House had to deal with ghosts or some shit like that. Either way let's sit down and talk about our feelings about this movie.

https://www.patreon.com/LoiteringInWonderlandStudios www.LIWstudios.com youtube.com/loiteringinwonderland loiteringinwonderland@gmail.com

42. Limp Handshakes

Wet noodle handshakes are a quick way to figure out if someone is a puss. Ladies, this applies to you as well. Just shake the goddamn hand and stop acting like a princess. Fellas, this applies to you as well. www.liwstudios.com www.youtube.com/loiteringinwonderland loiteringinwonderland@gmail.com

41. The Midwest

To be honest the midwest is a fine place to live. Phoenix needed to escape it though after growing up in Michigan. If you want your 2 year old car to have severe rust spots then this is your place. A place where the weather hates you and you wonder why you even bother staying alive 5 months out of the year. www.LIWstudios.com www.youtube.com/loiteringinwonderland loiteringinwonderland@gmail.com

40. The South (Ignorance Part I)

Hate english? Blacks? Cold weather? The American south is for you! Phoenix West lived in Mississippi for 5 months cleaning up after Hurricane Katrina and despised the place. Here is why.

www.liwstudios.com www.youtube.com/loiteringinwonderland loiteringinwonderland@gmail.com

39. The Lord Of The Rings Film Trilogy

I used to hate these movies. I no longer hate. Now I tolerate. I still find them overly long and boring. Watch as Phoenix reads off his version of the series in which Sam and Frodo are in a gay relationship from the south. It's... well, it's something. www.liwstudios.com www.youtube.com/loiteringinwonderland loiteringinwonderland@gmail.com

38. Ebonics

S'not racist. Trust me. This really should be titled 'lazy speaking' instead of ebonics but here we are. Stop teaching ebonics in schools. Unless they already have stopped it. I didn't look into it. www.LIWstudios.com youtube.com/loiteringinwonderland loiteringinwonderland@gmail.com

37. Groundhog Day

A woodland creature sees its shadow and that tell us the weather. We're fucking stupid and deserve to have terrible things happen to us. Things such as burning in hell. www.LIWstudios.com www.youtube.com/loiterininwonderland loiteringinwonderland@gmail.com

2018 State Of The Studio Address

This is going out on all of our feeds from Loitering In Wonderland Studios. It's just letting you guys know what's happening with us right now and why podcasts have been delayed. If you guys are curious you can find our other shows at the following places. www.LIWstudios.com youtube.com/LoiteringInWonderland loiteringinwonderland@gmail.com

36. Frat Comedy

If you want to see tits then just watch porn. Stop pretending you want to see a comedy. I've never once laughed at a tit. I've never once masturbated to jokes. They do not mix. Stop pretending they do. www.LIWstudios.com www.youtube.com/loiteringinwonderland loiteringinwonderland@gmail.com

35. Yo Momma

If you were on That 70's Show, you are not allowed to make television shows anymore. Stop it. Unless you're Donna as a side character on OITNB. That's allowed. Other than that, stop it. www.LIWstudios.com www.youtube.com/loiteringinwonderland loiteringinwonderland@gmail.com

34. Beauty And The Geek

Ashton has no soul. This show has no purpose. And it isn't officially cancelled. Let this show be a warning to us all. www.LIWstudios.com www.youtube.com/LoiteringInWonderland loiteringinwonderland@gmail.com

33. The Real World

LIW Studios does not agree with calling women 'sluts'. The use of the word is only directed at the dirty sluts that appear on The Real World. Which is neither real nor exists in the real world. You are being lied to. But if you're watching this shitty show then you're too stupid to realize or care about that fact. Enjoy your slutty show full of shallow, vain people! www.liwstudios.com www.youtube.com/LoiteringInWonderland loiteringinwonderland@gmail.com

32. Next

Everyone climb aboard the STD bus! Next was a shitty "game show" on MTV or something. It featured shallow people judging other shallow people in an attempt to find love. Love meaning a 40 second hump in the bus bathroom. NEXT! www.LIWstudios.com www.youtube.com/loiteringinwonderland loiteringinwonderland@gmail.com

31. Trick My Truck

Remember that show where they threw Pimp My Ride at the Jeff Foxworthy crowd? C'mon, you remember! The show where they pretended to steal big rigs from trucks to fix them up and then the trucker would show back up with his trucking lap mic and transmitter! It. Just. Made. Sense. www.LIWstudios.com www.youtube.com/loiteringinwonderland loiteringinwonderland@gmail.com

30. Overdose Of Shampoo

It's a serious problem that effects half of the population. Well... the men that aren't bald that use shampoo. It's a goddamn problem and we need to hold the shampoo companies responsible. We will have our revenge! We must band together! Once we wake up on the tile floor we will merge and unite as one!

www.LIWstudios.com www.Youtube.com/LoiteringInWonderland loiteringinwonderland@gmail.com

29. Magic Tricks

The greatest trick a magician can pull is paying their bills. As well as others. Fuck magic. If you're so good at magic, here's a trick for you. Kill yourself. But make it look like a murder framing someone super famous. If you can pull it off we will consider you an artist. If you fail we are all still better off. It's win-win.

www.LIWstudios.com www.youtube.com/LoiteringInWonderland loiteringinwonderland@gmail.com

28. Renaissance Festivals

To be fair, there are a lot of super attractive women attending these things. But it would be like if they put a 20 minute, hardcore, gay sex scene in the middle of Toy Story. Sure, it's still a great movie but afterward all you can really think about is that gay sex scene and why it was there to begin with. Is she broken? All indications point to yes. Anyway, avoid renaissance festivals because of all the hardcore gay sex or something. I don't know. The analogies are too mixed up now.

www.LIWstudios.com www.Youtube.com/LoiteringInWonderland loiteringinwonderland@gmail.com

27. The Absence Of Manly Actors

In the words of Paula Cole, 'Where Have All The Cowobys Gone?' Indeed, Paula, indeed. Hell, even if we cast Paula Cole in a movie now she'd be more manly than most of the men currently leading films. In fact, let's get her in Superman gear and get her flying, dammit! www.LIWstudios.com www.Youtube.com/LoiteringInWonderland

26. Deafening Car Stereos

Want to walk down the streets with a megaphone screaming, "Hey, everybody! I'm a huge asshole!" but also feel like spending a ton of money? Why not pour all of your paychecks into turning your car into a mobile ear-drum rapist? Violate the citizens in style! www.LIWstudios.com www.Youtube.com/LoiteringInWonderland