18: Phase Space (206)

A lot of questions are raised in this review episode. Seriously, how does a robot slicing you with a sword not kill you? I just don't get it. How did the bullets suddenly start working against the guests? I just dont' get it. Oh, in this actual Westworld episode we see Ford again and Maeve sees her daughter not-daughter again.

17: Akane No Mai (205)

Why would you go to Shogun World? It seems like a sword is a sword even in the hands of a robot trained not to actually kill humans. Is it a Nerf sword? How do you survive a ninja attack? I just don’t get it.

16: The Riddle Of The Sphinx (204)

We find out what happened to Delos. We find a character we haven’t seen since early season 1. We find out who Emily is. We find ourselves and isn’t that the most important thing in life? No? It’s sex with robots? Oh, well you can have that too.

15: Virtù e Fortuna (203)

The only thing you need to know about this episode is that Peter Abernathy is back. Celebrate this as a holiday the way it should be.

14: Reunion (202)

Watch as the robots go on a rich guy tour around the city. Dolores can play some piano. Logan does future drugs. William leaves his family for himself. Man In Black stores books in walls all over the park. What DOESN'T this episode have?

13: Journey Into Night (201)

Finally getting around to season 2 of Westworld. In this episode we see a genecide, Lee's wiener and Phoenix discusses not needing nudity for a show. Seriously.

12: The Bicameral Mind (110)

It all comes to an end here in this episode. Well, not really. In fact, it's all starting at the end of this episode. They have to leave you wanting something for season 2 right? Anyway, we finally find out what's at the end of the maze and it's just.... doesn't really matter. We finally find out what's going on with William and MIB. We finally get finality in a final and closing way, finally.

11: The Well-Tempered Clavier (109)

After over 7 months off, Phoenix is back to finish up season 1 of Westworld. The robots are starting to become self aware, Ford's plans are starting to become aware to us, Dolores is still following voices like an insane person, William is doing everything he can to save the vagina he thinks he loves. Anyway, only 1 more episode of the season and it's all ramping up.

10: Trace Decay (108)

Character 1 does action to Character 2 for reasons. Character 1 then lies to Character 3 about actions. Character 2 reveals truth to Character 3. Character 3 confronts Character 1 about lie. Character 1 admits to lie but lies about reason why they originally lied. Character 3 no longer trusts Character 1. Character 2 has been eavesdropping and is happy with the results, smirks at camera. Credits.

Oh, they're all naked robots. It'll work. Trust me.

9: Trompe L'Oeil (107)

It's been many months since Phoenix has recorded an episode of this show but he's back and ready to finish season 1 of HBO's Westworld. We find out some shit about Bernard in this one. Some but not all. Also, guess what's happening with Maeve? If you guessed waking up over and over to chit-chat with Felix and friend, you're right! Because that's all she does for a long time. 

8: The Adversary (106)

This is the conspiracy episode! It's great except for the obviousness of the big reveals. This episode should have been shorter but Phoenix was in a post-Trump win haze and couldn't speak as quickly as usual. Get toned, Tony.

7: Contrapasso (105)

This might be the best episode of LIW Westworld Review ever. Not just yet but for the foreseeable future too. Phoenix West recorded this at 1 AM, just hours before the 2016 presidential election started. He was drunk. He didn't feel drunk but he sure rambled like he was drunk. Not in an incoherent way but in an awesome way. Anyway, he talks about the wild west town, touches more on William being Man In Black (that's why they milk him wearing a white hat in his introduction), the large black cock of the waiter, Thandie Newton's body, that large black cock on the waiter, the lab assistant and how he will never accomplish anything in life, the weird shot of Dolores' on the train where William and Lawrence disappear and then he briefly touches on the large black cock on the waiter. This episode is just the biggest black cock you've ever heard.

6: Dissonance Theory (104)

In this episode, Phoenix finally talks about the alternate timeline. He stalled as long as he could but it was time to finally talk about it. He reveals that someone told him about it before episode 102 and then ponders if he would have gotten their on his own. Can't be sure... Anyway, this is a good episode with even more Truman Show crossover. This show is officially the best show on TV. Wait, it's not TV...it's HBO.

5: The Stray (103)

This is a long one and we apologize. Phoenix went way off topic but also went deeper into the show than he usually does. He ACTUALLY reviewed the episode instead of just making fun of it. He talks about how amazing the show's writing is as far as character-to-character relations are. You actually care about robots. That's some honestly good writing.

4: Chestnut (102)

In this episode, Phoenix talks about a metal band from his high school and their terrible band name change. He also talks about what the Man In Black wants and wonders if he's Agent Smith from The Matrix. Speaking of The Matrix, a little girl plays the Oracle in this show now. So, there's that. Also, the Cubs won the world series last night so Phoenix was celebrating so he's tired and confused a lot in this.

3: The Original (101)

The first episode of a sci-fi show in always great. Where it goes from there is unknown. Just ask Lost. Anyway, in this episode, Phoenix West discusses the recent rush to make television shows out of movies. It's not as bad as when they used to make children's cartoons out of every comedy movie but it's getting confusing. Why Teen Wolf? Anyway, Westworld is awesome and we hope it stays that way.

2: Futureworld movie (1976)

In this episode, Phoenix West discusses the terrible goddamn sequel to Westworld....Futureworld. For some reason they had to completely replace Westworld because of the robot killings but kept Romanworld and Medievalworlds. They were all massacres so why just replace the cheapest one to maintain? Because the original movie was called Westworld, of course! Nonsense. The robots in this sequel are all hyper aware of the fact that they were built to fuck humans. And they LOVE it. And I hated it. The movie that is.

1: Westworld movie (1973)

In this episode, Phoenix West discusses the Westworld movie scene by scene and makes fun of everything that doesn't make sense. This show is like stand-up mixed with a review show. Get used to it. Or not. It doesn't matter. Why can a robot swallow semen but not water? How do you know if you raped a robot or human in this world? Why would women go to this park anyway? So many questions and only long chase sequences to answer them.