Presenting our first Patreon only episode. And for that you're welcome and we're sorry. We just couldn't bring the enthusiasm for this episode. It's terrible and didn't deserve the respect of trying to break it down. But the upside: only Patreon members can access this episode! That means no annoying links down below!
107: The Trade-Ins (331)
Well this episode didn't turn out the way we hoped. Perhaps we need to start over with a new podcast body. Too bad we don't have the money raised to do that. Maybe we'll show up at our local gangster's house and play piss-poor poker to win some cash.
106: Hocus-Pocus And Frisby (330)
Listen as a crazy old man tells crazy old stories in his wooden store filled with various sandwich condiments. Then he goes to the gaylien spaceship for a probing adventure.
105: Four O'Clock (329)
This podcast description is a communist. The person reading this description is an evil person. Anyone who listens to this podcast will have their ears shrink down to 2 centimeters while their earbuds are in there. It'll be a fucking mess. Speaking of fucking messes, we watched this... 'comedy' episode of TZ and hated every second. NUT!!!
104: I Shot An Arrow Into The Air Redux (115)
Water. Delicious, delicious water will make you into a crazed lunatic that somehow passed the mental examinations to become an astronaut. Water is just that good. Our second pass through of I Shot An Arrow... was mostly focused on why the astronauts have guns and cantines and how they only way the plot makes sense is amnesia.
103: The Little People (328)
I can't believe how insensitive people were about midgets back in the 60's. This episode is wall-to-wall midget jokes. Even the title itself is a cruel joke. A man becomes a god and goes insane with laughter before being killed by irony. It was an episode. That's about all we can say about it.
102: Person Or Persons Unknown (327)
We're finally here. The episode that sparked the idea for doing a podcast review of The Twilight Zone. All because of one glorious moment in this episode. Listen to find out what it is. Are we doing a teaser? For some reason we are.
101: Little Girl Lost (326)
Kids are always falling out of bed, rolling under the bed and then doing rolls into the wall into the fourth dimension. Phoenix and Frank discuss the drunken wreck that is the wife and the abusive prick that is the dad. Plus, we all need a friend like Bill.
99: The Fugitive (325)
NAMBLA endorses this episode of The Twilight Zone. Watch this episode and then scrub yourself afterward because you will feel sick. Just listen to this episode and count how many times the word 'pedophile' comes up.
100: Where Is Everybody? Redux (101)
Watch as a man walks around alone and screams at all the nobody there. Watch as a man walks around alone and fights a phone booth. Watch other things as well.
98: To Serve Man (324)
Considered one of the best TZ episodes for some reason. It's a good episode with a ton of flaws. Mainly being if your overall goal is to come to earth to trick people into willingly coming back to your home planet so that you can eat them there... why the holy fuck bring the goddamn cook book to earth at all? You especially wouldn't just leave it behind after a meeting for the people to find and possibly translate. These are supposed to be superior creatures.
97: The Last Rites Of Jeff Myrtlebank (323)
Welcome to the mid-west where everyone has southern accents and say southern sayings and live in the south but is still the mid-west for some reason. A totally mid-western man awakens in his coffin at his funeral but don't you dare sue his doctor for malpractice. Watch as this zombie pedophile threatens people with horrific plagues before escorting his underage bride-to-be through the gates of hell.
96: One For The Angels Redux (102)
Another redux episode so Frank can chime in to talk about this selfish pedophile's battle against Death who apparenly has a quota like a ticket giving motorcycle cop. Why does Death carry cash? Why does he need so many ties? How do you grab a toy robot by mistake when you were trying to grab a tie? Why would birds carry silk across the ocean to make ties? So many tie related questions. Lou? Lou. Lou! Lou... Lou, can you hear me, Lou?
95: A Piano In the House (322)
Songs that make reveal your true inner self. Who needs a lie detector test when they can just bring in a player piano into the courtroom and get people truly talking? Best 'rich guy' villain so far in the TZ. We are back with our sound mixer and Frank's slurring makes a furious comeback. Witness the hot mess.
94: Kick The Can (321)
They kick a can in the most confusing game of hide-and-seek ever where you count by 5's to 100. Aluminum cans apparently have magical powers that transport you from death's door to a physically abused child of 8. It's just the worst.
93: Showdown With Rance McGrew (320)
Rance is a first name. Believe it. The production featured in this episode is beyond inept. They allow the star to make major plot changes to the show on a whim. They have the camera directly behind the director and script supervisor. They apparently have an unlimited mirror budget. They get zero coverage for the editor so good luck getting those stunt double shots in there.
92: The Hunt (319)
Watch in awe as an old man mocks his 50 year old wife in old lady make-up about how he never touches her anymore before he dies in a mild stream. Then he almost goes somewhere and then goes somewhere else. The end. AWE.
91: Dead Man's Shoes (318)
Magic shoes and shitty sound quality sum up this episode. If you're curious about the sound then check out the 2018 State Of The Studio Address episode that you probably skipped. You make bad life choices. So do bums with their shoe theft plans that get them killed. Anyway, we are back and so is Dane.
90: One More Pallbearer (317)
Cut the last 2 minutes and this episode is amazing. For once the twist endings got in the way of our enjoyment. Either way, witness the most pathetic person ever scream out the most pathetic dialogue ever. Witness two podcasters do the same. Or something. Whatever makes the joke work.
89: Nightmare As A Child Redux (129)
Another redux episode. Somehow Frank doesn't love this one as much as he does the one where the guy lays on a couch and goddamn dies. Is this the creepiest episode of The Twilight Zone ever? The guy admits to having a crush on a 10-11 year old when he's easily 25 years older than the girl. He also still carries around a photograph of the girl from that age. He then has the balls to show the grown up the photo of her a a child. So yeah, it's pretty creepy.