Rod ruins this episode several times before the reveal even happens so why bother watching this, right? Actually it's a sweet episode with a nice little lesson in it. It's not terribly exciting but if you're a fan of antiques then this is your goddamn episode. Fan of hoarding? Your episode. Fan of murdering old ladies? Please stop listening to our show and go turn yourself in.
87: A Quality Of Mercy (315)
Racist or nah? Phoenix and Frank come up with several different ideas of how to do this episode in a better way. We don't think the actor himself had to turn Japanese. We really think so.
86: Five Characters In Search Of An Exit (314)
If you've ever wanted a Toy Story / Saw crossover then you're in luck. These toys have souls and are tortured by that fact. The toy gods over at Mattel have some explaining to do. Oh shit, they sponsored this episode. Those toy gods over at Mattel have some great products. If you buy your child a homelessman action figure then you hate your goddamn kids. At least give them to the orphans. As if they don't have enough problems.
85: Once Upon A Time (313)
All the best stories revolve around elderly janitors. It isn't depressing as shit or anything. Phoenix and Frank start off talking about having to masturbate to VHS porn before the internet was around. It's a rough life, folks. Oh yeah, we also discuss this episode of The Twilight Zone.
83: The Jungle (312)
So. Here we are. Another shitty TZ episode. It hasn't been long since the last one. This one features a man that has to conscious when it comes to tearing up the African jungle. Except the longest scene in the episode where he clearly has a problem with it. Whatever. He befriends a homeless superhero and his wife turns into a wig and a wax hand. Something like that.
84: Perchance To Dream Redux (109)
Another redux episode where Frank gets to chime in on a season 1 gem. This is one of Frank's favorite episodes and Phoenix couldn't give a shit less. Phoenix tries to argue about what changes he would have made but Frank argues that what you see is what they did so that's that. Phoenix uses this logic to describe how much Frank should love Kid Rock if that's the way he's going to argue. It's messy.
82: Still Valley (311)
This episode is not worth describing in here. Something about a guy screaming at civil war mannequins. And a witch but then nah, no witch. Burn book. End.
81: The Midnight Sun (310)
Vasoline: The One Act Play. Imagine a world where the world has stopped spinning and is moving toward the sun. Can you imagine the chaos with the loss of gravity? The tidal waves! The destruction! Well, nope. Earth just slowly gets warmer while our main character paints murder landscapes.
80: Deaths-Head Revisited (309)
This isn't the typical LIW The TZ Review show. We are actually serious for some of it and you'll see why. Show this episode to your high school kids. Show this to anyone you can. Not our podcast but the actual TZ episode. Not even going to end this with a joke. Just going to leave it sad.
79: It's A Good Life (308)
A problem so tough it could be solved with a happy thought and a hammer. Seriously, kill the goddamn kid already. I don't feel bad for you people at all. Either way I want a prequel and a sequel to this episode. A sequel where we see the awesome freak party in the cornfield and a prequel where we see what horrible shit the parents did to get this devil child. Someone did something wrong and I want to see it.
78: The Grave (307)
We are back from our mini-break with the first of hopefully a long series of plays. Phoenix and Frank take turns swapping roles out to reenact The Grave almost word for word. Well, close enough. They MIGHT have said 'cunt' a few less times in the actual TZ episode.
77: The Mirror (306)
Vivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivaviva.... Apparently, all you need is shoe polish and a Scarface level terrible accent and you're Cuban. Or as Phoenix made up: Canadian. They didn't say what country it was so he made up his own story. Frank also adds more fuel to the future podcast The Divorce Podcast. Viva The Twilight Zone! Viva Loitering In Wonderland. Viva Vivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivavivaviva...
76: The Purple Testament Redux (119)
Another in the line of Redux episodes in which Frank gets to chime in on a season 1 episode. This was also in his season 1 top 5 episodes so Phoenix puts him on the spot to explain himself.
75: A Game Of Pool (305)
Our sponsor for the week can go fuck themselves. This episode is about billiards, not swimming pools. Anyway, we talked forever about how good this episode is despite being minimalistic. It's literally two guys playing a sweaty game of forever pool. Phoenix reveals that Jack Klugman is his favorite TZ actor to appear in more than 1 episode.
74: The Passersby (304)
People pass by her house. Get it? They're dead. He's dead too. She's also dead. Everyone is goddamn dead. Lincoln is dead too. He was not the last casualty of the Civil War though. That's stupid. Anyway, watch The Others. We also introduce our newest eventual podcast, The Divorce Podcast. Starring a single man: Frank Linkz.
73: The Shelter (303)
The best way to survive a nuclear attack is to have a flimsy door and pieces of shit for neighbors. That shelter wouldn't have survived a thunderstorm let alone an atomic blast. This is a great freakout episode of The Twilight Zone, so gather up your children, watch it with them and then head over to your neighbors and begin tearing the place apart with the kind of great decision making skills that only a scared mob can make.
72: The Arrival (302)
Frank loved this episode because it featured a plane. Phoenix loved this episode because if featured an insane person. There is something for everyone in The Arrival. No, not the Charlie Sheen movie. Not the Amy Adams movie. The Twilight Zone episode about a suicidal plane detective and his Buffalo plane.
71: Two (301)
Two stars two people in a two dimensional story about two people looking for two love. Lisp joke. I guess so. Anyway, we barely discussed the episode but instead did everything we could to sound like horrible people. We should learn our lesson in The Twilight Zone. We also talked about how this years New Years TZ marathon was a bit of a random letdown.
70: The Mighty Casey Redux (135)
In the first of our redux series, Frank joins Phoenix to discuss one of the most boring baseball stories ever put to film. A robot playing baseball is somehow made boring in this tale of the Hoboken Zephryrs, who sit 20 games behind 4th place even during spring training. It just doesn't add up. We also discuss how The Mighty Casey was so mighty that he just had to mow down 2 people with a handgun at a bar in 2004. Yes, true story.
69: Season 2 Bottom 5 Episodes
Season 2 is an amazing mess. The best episodes of the series are blended together with the worst comedic episdoes of the series. A man is terrorized by his razor. An elderly gay man must come to terms with his struggling sexuality and his psycopathic fantasy of destroying the human race. A man stares at the radio so much that he transforms back to a time where he was still elderly. Well, at least there isn't a story about a rapist impregnating his victim like in season 1.