The best way to survive a nuclear attack is to have a flimsy door and pieces of shit for neighbors. That shelter wouldn't have survived a thunderstorm let alone an atomic blast. This is a great freakout episode of The Twilight Zone, so gather up your children, watch it with them and then head over to your neighbors and begin tearing the place apart with the kind of great decision making skills that only a scared mob can make.
73: TZ1959 - 302 - The Arrival
Frank loved this episode because it featured a plane. Phoenix loved this episode because if featured an insane person. There is something for everyone in The Arrival. No, not the Charlie Sheen movie. Not the Amy Adams movie. The Twilight Zone episode about a suicidal plane detective and his Buffalo plane.
72: The Simi Valley Acorn Is Written In The Twilight Zone
During The Mighty Casey Redux episode, Frank read from the least professional newspaper in existence: The Simi Valley Acorn. Phoenix then suggested they make it a regular segment. Obviously that isn't going to happen so here is the next best thing; Phoenix reads 5 articles from what is basically a real life version of The Onion. He speaks at a breakneck pace so that makes the actual reading difficult to do. Plus... he did it completely sober which is an unusual departure from the usual TZ review. Truly, The Simi Valley Acorn resides deep inside The Twilight Zone.
71: TZ1959 - 301 - Two
Two stars two people in a two dimensional story about two people looking for two love. Lisp joke. I guess so. Anyway, we barely discussed the episode but instead did everything we could to sound like horrible people. We should learn our lesson in The Twilight Zone. We also talked about how this years New Years TZ marathon was a bit of a random letdown.
70: TZ1959 - 135 - The Mighty Casey Redux
In the first of our redux series, Frank joins Phoenix to discuss one of the most boring baseball stories ever put to film. A robot playing baseball is somehow made boring in this tale of the Hoboken Zephryrs, who sit 20 games behind 4th place even during spring training. It just doesn't add up. We also discuss how The Mighty Casey was so mighty that he just had to mow down 2 people with a handgun at a bar in 2004. Yes, true story.
69: TZ1959 - Season 2 Bottom 5 Episodes
Season 2 is an amazing mess. The best episodes of the series are blended together with the worst comedic episdoes of the series. A man is terrorized by his razor. An elderly gay man must come to terms with his struggling sexuality and his psycopathic fantasy of destroying the human race. A man stares at the radio so much that he transforms back to a time where he was still elderly. Well, at least there isn't a story about a rapist impregnating his victim like in season 1.
68: TZ1959 - Season 1 Bottom 5 Episodes
Well we did our positive top 5 episodes and we felt sick after so we though we'd end 2017 properly. By choosing our least favorite 5 episodes from season 1 and 2. We had more in common this time around.
67: TZ1959 - Season 2 Top 5 Episodes
Season 2 was a much easier endeavor. Frank actually managed to pick just 5. One of them involved a claymation dinosaur. That's the only hint you're getting. Figure it out.
66: TZ1959 - Season 1 Top 5 Episodes
Listen as two grown men bicker about their top 5 Twilight Zone episodes from season 1. One man has his top 5 locked. Another has his top 5 be a top 8 with mulitiple number 1's. It doesn't make sense. Don't try to think about it so hard. It'll kill you. Anyway, it's our first episode where we aren't tearing an episode apart so enjoy.
65: TZ1959 - 229 - The Obsolete Man
In this touching tale from a possible future, a librarian that is a glutton for punishment is sentenced to death only to narrowly kill the person that sentenced him to death. But nah. Sounds like we hated it but this is Phoenix's second favorite episode.
64: TZ1959 - 228 - Will The Real Martian Please Stand Up?
If you have 7 people in a room when there is only supposed to be 6 and the theory is that one of the people must be a Martian, having a side theory that one of the 7 was replaced by the Martian doesn't make any sense. You still have an additional person. At any rate the confusion doesn't stop there. Why did the cops say they would ride ahead on the bridge only to ride on it at the exact same time as a heavy fucking bus? They deserved to die.
63: TZ1959 - 227 - The Mind And The Matter
What happens when you give an elderly sociopath a superpower? Obviously only mass extinction and cross-dressing can be the result. Seriously, fuck this episode. They tucked it away at the tail end of season 2 in the middle of the greatest run in show history, hoping we all didn't notice how shitty it truly was. Rod... we noticed. Stop writing comedies...wait...you're a dead person. I keep forgetting. I feel ashamed. The only way to fix this shame is to wish every single other person on the planet into extinction. That'll solve all of my problems.
62: TZ1959 - 226 - Shadow Play
Imagine you're stuck in a dream where you die at the end and you're desperately trying to convince those around you that they're making huge mistakes. This is what Phoenix feels like all the time due to people in public making rules that can only prove that we humans hate ourselves. Anyway, this is a strange podcast because it was recorded in two sections because Frank was sick so we had to take a 3 day break between the commercial break. This. Is. Our. Favorite. TZ. Episode. Ever.
61: TZ1959 - 225 - The Silence
This episode will turn you to soup. You can eat that soup in your man zoo for a bunch of crusty, old, white men to stare at while you don't speak for a year. Somehow this is an amazing episode. Seriously.
60: TZ1959 - 224 - The Rip Van Winkle Caper
Stealing money and essentially time traveling to the future is a stupid idea. Guess these guys never heard of inflation. Also if you have the technology to use gases to keep yourself alive for 100 years in a glass casket....just sell your idea and avoid robbing trains.
59: TZ1959 - 223 - A Hundred Yards Over The Rim
In this episode man defeats a rim. Defeats it by about a hundred yards I'd say. Then he is transported to 1961, he gets modern medicine for his dying child and then he goes back over the rim only to find the skeletal remains of his family, untouched by modern man. What? That's how it should have ended. Why does the Twilight Zone keep insisting time travel is a two way street?
58: TZ1959 - 222 - Long Distance Call
This episode has the biggest sack of shit character in Twilight Zone history. Second only to Phoenix. Have you ever loved a child so much that when you died you wanted the kid to murder himself so he could be with you again? You have? Then you're a goddamn psychopath.
57: TZ1959 - 221 - The Prime Mover
Remember when you were a kid and always talked about what your super power would be? Invisibility? Nah, you still make noise. Flight? Nah, you'd crash and die. Super human strength? Nah, you'd rip your dick right off like Mr. Dingle. Telekinesis? YES! You could be a super hero from afar without getting into the actual danger. You could stop bullets like Neo. You could crumble whole buildings if you wanted to be evil. You could......work part-time at a run down diner and just... make your broom stand up so you didn't have to bend over. Is this the lamest super power story ever? Good episode though.
56: TZ1959 - 220 - Static
Who the fuck are these people and why do they all live together like an elderly hostel? Another question, why is watching tv an insanely stupid thing to do but laying around listening to the radio all day every day is 100% the right thing to do? This main character is a real asshole. Also, if you're going to have an episode where the main character time travels back to a happier time, make sure that time isn't when he was still elderly. It's just sad. I think I spent more time writing this description than we did on the actual episode.
55: TZ1959 - 219 - Mr. Dingle, The Strong
What does it take for grown men to stand next to each other, get inside a large box on wheels, superglue tiny unicorn horns to their heads and yet spout out insults to a legendary actor that's right in front of them? Phoenix and Frank break down this and more in this charming episode of The Twilight Zone.