In this episode, Phoenix talks about how robots can totally be programmed to smile. Yes they can! Don't argue with me. Also, using robots to pitch in your professional baseball game is bullshit. It's cheating. Call it what you want. I call it cheating.
34: TZ1959 - 134 - The After Hours
This episode of The Twilight Zone can be solved in minutes. In this episode, Phoenix discusses the amazing possibility that Marsha wasn't really a mannequin but was instead schizophrenic and pretending to be a mannequin at the end. I want to watch that episode more than the actual episode.
33: TZ1959 - 133 - Mr. Bevis
In this episode, Phoenix has a debate as to whether or not Mr. Bevis was in fact literally a retarded person or not. It's not entirely clear. Watching one terrible thing after another happen to him is much sadder when seen through that lens. At any rate, zither music is not music you should have an active interest in.
32: TZ1959 - 132 - A Passage For Trumpet
In this episode, Phoenix talks about how Joey makes being an alcoholic seem like a great lifestyle... that is quickly ended via suicide because a guy is going 120 in a truck on a downtown street. But in the meantime, a glorious drunken life is great.
31: TZ1959 - 131 - The Chaser
This episode attempts to come off as a quirky twist of fate but the reality of it is a rape fantasy in which a woman's life is eternally ruined. Seriously, go watch it again and keep in mind he drugs her drink and then impregnates her while she's under the effects of the drug. It's fucked up.
30: TZ1959 - 130 - A Stop At Willoughby
In this episode, Phoenix talks about how flat this episode is. It isn't bad, it's just missing a piece. It is about Gart Williams, yes, Gart... and how he wants a simple life instead of a push push push lifestyle. Also, his wife is an enormous cunt. Suicide is painless. It brings on many changes. And Gart can take or leave for Willoughby if he please. Pleases? Pleasi? Pluse? Whatever.
29: TZ1959 - 129 - Nightmare As A Child
This is a real molest-y episode. By that I mean, it could have been if things went differently. But seriously, this is one of Phoenix's favorite episodes of the series. Watch this TZ episode before you listen to this podcast! Seriously. It's an awesome episode of TZ.
28: TZ1959 - 128 - A Nice Place To Visit
In this episode, Phoenix wants to know what the fuck 'mumblety-peg' is and how it leads to you going to hell. I just spoiled the episode for you by the way. You probably should have watched The Twilight Zone episode before reading this. Go do that now. I said NOW. When you come back, bring a million dollars and a broad that won't quit, I mean....STACKED.
27: TZ1959 - 127 - The Big Tall Wish
This one gets pretend racist. Just keep that in mind. In this episode, Phoenix gets pretend racist. Just keep that in mind. Seriously. Don't email me thinking it's real. The Big Tall Wish is about a kid that makes a big tall wish about a boxer. That's it. Simple episode. #notracist
26: TZ1959 - 126 - Execution
In this episode, Phoenix marvels over the awesome episode introduction about hanging someone. It was poetic. Anyway, they try to kill this child murderer but he ends up in 1960 NYC despite being hanged in 1880 old west. Figure that out. Shit doesn't go as planned because Twilight Zone.
25: TZ1959 - 125 - People Are Alike All Over
In this episode Phoenix talks about how bullshit the title of this episode is. If they are 'people' then yes they have to be alike but when you're on Mars, why would they be people? Anyway, he explains it better in the episode. He also talks about how he wants to start calling him Rowdy Roddy McDowall and how he would have been an insane person to be around. He also calls Roddy the first Crispen Glover. If you watch the TZ episode, you'll understand.
24: TZ1959 - 124 - Long Live Walter Jameson
In this episode, Phoenix discusses how shitty Sam is to his daughter. I mean, he keeps her locked in her upstairs room to study every day and she's almost 30. Who does that? Disney villains do that. And he's supposed to be the elderly voice of wisdom in this episode. How am I supposed to trust his leadership and morals when he does such questionable things to his own kin? Shame on him. Oh yeah, also there's a plot about a guy that doesn't age but also isn't immortal. He didn't get sick for 2000 years during all those disgusting plague ridden times? Yeah right. I call bullshit.
23: TZ1959 - 123 - A World Of Difference
In this episode, Phoenix only took 8 notes (one note was the name of the script within the show and one note was to note how few notes he took). Not that the episode is bad, but it's mostly our main character having the same conversation with different people so there isn't much happening. Phoenix loved how the episode opened and how it closed. The middle was typical TZ fashion with the main character screaming that everyone else is crazy and not him until the plot resolves itself.
22: TZ1959 - 122 - The Monsters Are Due On Maple Street
In this episode, Phoenix watches his real fears played out for him in the form of social unrest. This is one of the classic episodes of The Twilight Zone. Or at least it should be. It is by far the most relevant episode nowadays. Don't think so? The city of Dallas would disagree with you. That's what I thought. Anyway, Phoenix talks about how bullshit it is that at first Rod says "Maple Street, USA" which implies it's the only and then at the end they say "The world is full of Maple Streets." Which is it??
21: TZ1959 - 121 - Mirror Image
In this episode, Phoenix is once again bothered by the basic premise of the episode itself. Don't get it wrong, it's a good episode, but when it states that the mirror image person is there to replace you, it has to then replace you. It doesn't do that. It just is also there. No replacing at all. Nonsense. Anyway, this episode features a female character that doesn't cook or clean or any of that stereotypical nonsense. Instead, she's a business woman with a head on her shoulders and all that other female stereotypical nonsense. She's not type A. She's type B.
20: TZ1959 - 120 - Elegy
In this episode, Phoenix tears up a character for not realizing a clearly fake dog was fake, despite landing a GIANT FUCKING ROCKETSHIP feet away from it and it not running away while shitting itself in fear. He also talks about how a town full of "flesh-and-blood" people that can't move are easy prey for a lonely astronaut without something to fuck on the reg. It would happen. I'm not saying it's right but it would 100% happen.
19: TZ1959 - 119 - The Purple Testament
In this episode, Phoenix talks about the money making gift of being able to see if someone will die soon. Not in war though, it's useless in war. He also goes in depth on a scenario about choosing which soldiers should go, seeing which ones will die, taking them out and then seeing which ones will die because of that.... and the endless cycle of choosing the perfect war team would be. He also discusses this episode of The Twilight Zone.
18: TZ1959 - 118 - The Last Flight
This is the only lost episode in the LIW catalogue. Not sure what happened but it's ironic that in this TZ episode about time travel and being lost in the clouds, the episode got lost and Frank and Phoenix had to go back in time to record a past episode to replace it. Phoenix liked this episode a lot more the second time around and Frank says it's in his top 10 episode list which if you're an astute listener, Frank now has 40 episodes in his top 10 and Phoenix has 3. Anyway, enjoy this episode that is being inserted as if it were the original. We're just ignoring the discrepancy from here out.
Original show notes if you're curious:
(In this episode, Phoenix is baffled by the nonsense version of time travel this episode attempts to pass off. He also goes off on how the Major in this episode was amazed at "white clouds" and how he thought that was specific enough to warrant a miracle. Good episode though. Not amazing. Good TZ "crazy man that nobody believes" stuff here.)
17: TZ1959 - 117 - The Fever
Phoenix said this was the most fun he had recording an episode. He got to do his Daniel Day Lewis from There Will Be Blood impression and then yell at an imaginary wife while pretending to be a drug addict. This episode was sober too. Figure that out..
16: TZ1959 - 116 - The Hitch-Hiker
This episode is an urban legend. That's about it. Have you heard the urban legend about the hitch-hiker that turned out to be death, trying to warn the girl that she died? Yes? Then you have seen this episode already. If not, spoiler alert back there. Phoenix likes the way this episode was done though so it made up for lack of story. He isn't impossible to please (Filipino lady-boys will attest to that).