33 - Surf Nazis Must Die (1987)

A movie in such a slow motion hurry that they forgot to introduce how the hero and villains know each other. Oh, the villains are surfing nazis with the ultimate goal of... surfing more.

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31 - Guarding Tess (1994)

The ping-pong balls are back again and they're angrier than ever. This time they force Phoenix into watching possibly the most boring movie in the Cage cannon: Guarding Tess. A movie in which Cage watches an old lady cut newspaper articles out while they slowly whisper out dialogue about nothing. Then with 20 minutes left of the film they decided to throw in a plot.

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We'd like to thank our Patron: The Indy Sportscar Podcast.

30 - Megaforce (1982)

FUCKING MEGAFORCE! An action... comedy? Not quite sure on that one but it sure was ambitious. A movie where the main villain is best buds with the main hero and they just hang out in the middle of the movie before getting back to being enemies again. He came.

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We'd like to thank our Patron: The Indy Sportscar Podcast.

29 - Left Behind (2014)

Nic Cage is Left Behind so now we all want to be left behind with him. Or at least Phoenix West does. That is until Cage is a real asshole at the end of this movie screening. It gets weird. Naked and weird.

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Patreon.com/LoiteringInWonderlandStudios Be a goddamn hero and donate to our Patreon!

We'd like to thank our Patron: The Indy Sportscar Podcast.

28 - Neon Maniacs (1986)

Watch as the Neon Maniacs attack and attempt to kill people that have no desire to live. It's as exciting as it sounds. It is an unfinished movie that feels exactly like that. I didn't find out that it was unfinished until after I watched it. Now I get it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZigFF3p6w_4&t=0s&list=PLzB_ChIs4K6iraFlTGM_yAi23kPtGTodm&index=34

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We'd like to thank our Patreon subscriber: The Indy Sportscar Podcast.

26 - Face/Off (1997)

A great movie with a stupid, stupid plot. A movie we've covered half a dozen times here at LIW Studios. So much so that Phoenix is actually writing a making a Face/Off audiobook novelization called NyQuil & Cocaine. Go find it on this YouTube page.

LIWstudios.com Youtube.com/LoiteringInWonderland LoiteringInWonderland@gmail.com Patreon.com/LoiteringInWonderlandStudios

We'd like to thank our Patreon subscriber: The Indy Sportscar Podcast.

24B - Ghost Warrior (1984)

We also had to watch a samurai movie from the greatest decade this earth has witnessed: Ghost Warrior. It nearly put us to sleep and that's really saying something when your only real plot is that an essentially time traveling samurai is rampaging Los Angeles with swords. It didn't live up to the hype. www.LIWstudios.com

To watch the Ghost Warrior review from Shitty Movie Showdown! episode 24, click here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pfr0x7ljeDc

24A - Attack Of The Killer Donuts (2016)

We got stuck watching Attack Of The Killer Donuts from 2016, the year of our lord. It seemed like soft-core porn but it ended up being a watchable movie that didn't take itself seriously. We have no real opinions about this movie one way or another. It just was. They pointed their camera at stuff and made a movie out of that footage. You did it! www.LIWstudios.com

To watch the Shitty Movie Showdown! review of this shitty movie, click here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X-AnuPMJgkU

22 - Con Air (1997)

Phoenix West watches the classic and classy Nic Cage movie Con Air from 1997 in which Cage plays a greasy southerner serving 7 years in prison for defending his life. It's just insane. To watch the review from Shitty Movie Showdown! 22 - Nic Cage Cast 11. Click here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Awuo07na5Zw

LIWstudios.com Youtube.com/LoiteringInWonderland LoiteringInWonderland@gmail.com Patreon.com/LoiteringInWonderlandStudios

We'd like to thank our Patron: The Indy Sportscar Podcast.

20 - National Treasures (2004-2007)

This is the full movie commentary for Shitty Movie Showdown! episode 20 - National Treasure 1 & 2. If you want to watch the review, click here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=It7xVs080hc

Phoenix knew he'd have to suffer through National Treasure so he figured he'd get both of the movies out of the way at the same time. He watches both 1 & 2 at the exact same time and managed to keep track of these intense movies with intricate plots. Do you buy that? They're just Indiana Jones meets Da Vinci Code. Minus all the fun and intrigue of both of those franchises.

www.LIWstudios.com

19 - The Wicker Man (2006)

This is the full movie commentary from Shitty Movie Showdown! To see the review episode, click here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3mALQY9B3YM&index=2&list=PLzB_ChIs4K6iraFlTGM_yAi23kPtGTodm

The Wicker Man is one of the best Cage freakout movies. Do you love seeing women get punched in the goddamn face over and over? This is your movie. Also, learn to like less psychopathic things. Anyway, this is Phoenix watching the entire movie and making fun of it MST3K style.

18 - USS Indianpolis: Men Of Courage (2016)

This is the full movie commentary for USS Indianapolis. For the actual Shitty Movie Showdown! review, click here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lB12m8I_L-0

It's a real Cage match in this film. Sharks vs. Cage. True story. In this movie, Cage is the captain of the titular ship on an ill fated journey back home. But it all ends well for Cage....oh....oh god no. Just watch this. Or, better yet. Watch Phoenix West watch this.

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17 - Industrial Symphony No. 1: The Ballad Of The Brokenhearted (1990)

This is the entire movie Industrial Symphony No. 1: The Dream Of The Brokenhearted from 1990 with video commentary from Shitty Movie Showdown! via Nic Cage Cast. To watch the SMS! review episode of Industrial Symphony, click here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QlX4DWSNzsw&t=428s

Industrial Symphony No. 1: The Ballad Of The Brokenhearted is a passion project made by noted human David Lynch. In this, Nic Cage stars in the opening scene before never being seen again. It was a load of shit putting this on his IMDb page. In this production, a lot of ambigious shit happens without any change of nearing an answer. This is mean to make you feel like the piece has a deeper meaning than your understanding can grasp. In reality, it's because David Lynch cannot make coherent pieces on his own. How can you tell if he has fucked up if none of it really adds up? You can't. But he's one thing...human. That's for sure.

www.LIWstudios.com for more shows

10: Death Machines (1976)

This is the entire movie Death Machines from 1976 with video commentary from Shitty Movie Showdown! To watch the SMS! review episode of Death Machines, click here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0pPlCNMYi50

Death Machines was about how badass the 70’s were. It featured assassins that may or may not be robots killing people or just shoving them down to the ground. Our hero is a tremendous asshole that leaves his girlfriend at a gas station. His name is Frank Thomas and no… it isn’t the White Sox legend. www.LIWstudios.com for more shows

16 - Zandalee (1991)

Watch as two white people fuck in every possible location. They call it a movie but it's more like boring art porn. Then Cage covers himself in black paint while screaming like the lunatic he is.

LIWstudios.com youtube.com/LoiteringInWonderland LoiteringInWonderland@gmail.com Patreon.com/LoiteringInWonderlandStudios

8 - Dark Angel & I Come In Peace (1990)

This is the full movie commentary for both Dark Angel and I Come In Peace.

Things are different this time. Brent watched the 1990 film 'Dark Angel' starring Dolph Lundgren in which an alien comes to America to forcibly deal narcotics. Dolph also attempts to find love with the city's coroner. One problem...she's his ex... Phoenix also watched a movie called "I Come In Peace" from 1990 in which Dolph Lundgren partners up with the guy from Dream On to stop an alien from out space that is bent on giving citizens overdoses of heroin. Dolph also must find a way to break off every plan he makes with his on-again-off-again girlfriend, the coroner of Houston.

Both movies are eerily similar. Phoenix and Brent both provide commentary while recording at different times in different places. To see the full official Shitty Movie Showdown! episode, subscribe to this page!

6 - Hick Trek: The Moovie ('1999')

This is the entire movie Hick Trek: The Moovie from 1999 with video commentary from Shitty Movie Showdown! To watch the SMS! review episode of Hick Trek, click here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uXwzm3ti3Zc

Hick Trek: The Moovie is a Star Trek spoof with hicks. That’s pretty much it. Oh, they have to stop cats from blowing up a planet with a cottage cheese and pineapple bomb. It’s way better than it sounds and the gang ended up liking the movie.

5 - Rise Of The Black Bat (2012)

This is the entire movie Rise Of The Black Bat from 2012 with commentary from Shitty Movie Showdown! To watch the SMS! review episode for Rise Of The Black Bat, click HERE: Rise Of The Black Bat is about all those superheroes you know and love. Put them in a blender and you get this. What’s that? You forgot to toss money into the blender? Oh well, shoot the movie with nobodies and don’t bother lighting the shots or recording dialogue. It’ll work out, trust me.

www.LIWstudios.com for more shows

3 - Halloween III: Season Of The Witch (1982)

In this video, we watched Halloween III: Season Of The Witch and tore it apart with live video commentary. This was originally from Shitty Movie Showdown! episode 3. What makes horror movies great? The villain right? And the original Halloween has a great villain with Michael Myers. So obviously it only made sense to remove him entirely and replace him with Irish people stealing Stonehenge to kill children with masks. It. Just. Makes. Sense. Can Detective Doctor overcome the Irish bad guys while maintaining a three beer buzz and keep his dick wet the entire time? Find out with us!

P.S. - I hear this video is blocked in Canada and the U.S.