73: Face/Off (1997) Redux

This review is too long for you. Just go ahead and turn away now. If you're into Nic Cage or this amazing and severly flawed movie then welcome. Wait, I already told you to leave. Fuck. Wrong order. Anyway, this is the first official video episode of Loitering In Wonderland Movie Review. Face/Off was the first podcast for LIW back in 2013 and then Phoenix got a dog and named him Pollux Troy. Well, he just had to put the dog down so he thought the first video episode should be Face/Off as well. So he's back for a second swing at this insane plot that completely makes sense. It. Just. Does. Search LIW Movie Review on itunes to hear the first 72 episodes. The companion piece of this review is under Shitty Movie Showdown! episode 26. www.LIWstudios.com www.youtube.com/loiteringinwonderland loiteringinwonderland@gmail.com

72: Timecop (1994) Redux

Flawless motion picture depicting a flawless actor performing flawless time traveling while being a flawless cop. With that being said, prepare for an hour plus of Phoenix and Frank describing the film's flaws. Yes, film. It's a goddamn film.

www.LIWstudios.com www.youtube.com/LoiteringInWonderland

71: Die Hard Anthology (1988-2013) Part 2

In this Way Off Topic Radio / LIW crossover episode, Frank and Phoenix discuss all 5 Die Hard movies while going severely off topic the entire show. This is part 2 of a 2 part episode. In this we discuss our favorite fights/villains, Little Fingers magical transporting powers in Game Of Thrones, their favorite scenes in each movie, how upset Phoenix was that 4 was rated PG-13, how terrible 5 was and then they rate each movie.

www.liwstudios.com youtube.com/loiteringinwonderland

70: Die Hard Anthology (1988-2013) Part 1

In this Way Off Topic Radio / LIW crossover episode, Frank and Phoenix discuss all 5 Die Hard movies while going severely off topic the entire show. This is part 1 of a 2 part episode. This one deals mostly with our experiences with the Die Hard franchise growing up, our favorite scenes in the original trilogy and what makes Die Hard special.

www.liwstudios.com youtube.com/loiteringinwonderland

69: Under Siege 2: Dark Territory (1995)

Phoenix is joined by his LIW The Twilight Zone Review co-host Frank Linkz from Way Off Topic Radio to discuss the classic Steven Seagal movie Under Siege 2: Dark Territory. A movie that they love an unreasonable amount despite it's many, many flaws. Editing being the biggest flaw. Phoenix renamed this adventure classic, "Under Siege 2: Whispers And Explosions." They also discuss their failed attempt at making this a Shitty Movie Showdown! video episode on Skype while trying to watch the same movie while being 3000 miles apart. It didn't work out too well. Just like Under Siege 2.

www.LIWstudios.com www.youtube.com/loiteringinwonderland

68: The Stuff (1985)

Imagine you're a 12 year old boy and your world is shattered when your abusive family is overtaken by killer yogurt. Or is it killer? It's not made entirely clear. Maybe it's shaving cream. Or milk. Either way, this The Stuff is stored in the refridgerated and frozen section of your local grocery store. Also, it's sold on a warm display at the same store. Why? Why not, that's why. This movie from 1985 that feels like 1974 is a horror classic. Or a comedy classic. Or whatever it is, it's classic. Have you ever begged for a perfect blend of Disturbing Behavior and Halloween III? Your prayers have been answered. THE STUFF! www.LIWstudios.com

67: Sharknado 4: The 4th Awakens (2016)

This was a miserable experience. The Sharknado series has... jumped the shark. I know I'm not the first person to say it, obviously, but it's true. The series is officially just another Scary/Epic Movie series in which celebrities say 3 words and walk off camera. That's it. That was the joke. Carrot Top drives an Uber? WHAT? How hilarious is that? It is exactly as funny as Dog The Bounty Hunter selling chainsaws in a small town. So, it isn't funny. Fuck Dog The Bounty Hunter. He's not even human. Most of this episode is about Dog and how terrible he is. Anyway, sharks suck and so does The Asylum. This description wasn't meant to sound this pretend edgy but it's 3 am and this movie isn't worth talking about seriously.

66: Code Of Honor (2016)

Steven Seagal is turning into a South Park caricature of himself. In this direct to DVD movie, Steven plays a lazy sniper with minimal dialogue so that the actor himself doesn't have to do anything. Add in some fake blood and terrible acting and you've got yourself a Loitering In Wonderland movie. Also, to whoever made this movie: learn how to use green screen. It looks worse than the early American't episodes.

65: The Star Wars Holiday Special (1978)

Phoenix has seen The Star Wars Holiday Special 20 something times. All within the past week or so. The viewing for this movie was for Shitty Movie Showdown! episode IV and because of editing the show, he had to watch and re-watch the 'special' over 20 times. It makes him sick thinking about it. This podcast is an angry letter to whoever is responsible for The Star Wars Holiday Special.

64: Sinister Squad (2016)

The Asylum makes terrible movies in hopes that you'll rent the wrong movie instead of the Hollywood blockbuster with a similar name/poster. Fuck them hard. Phoenix did an internship there for a bit when he was in film school. We've reviewed their movies on this show before (Sharknado 2 & 3) but this one is quite terrible. What's the plot? Good fucking question. Phoenix still doesn't know and he watched the movie then discussed it for 35 minutes. He almost gave up 15 minutes into this but decided to press on. Get past that point in this episode and it gets better. 

Episode Jones: Glitter Face Jones.

63: Edward Scissorhands (1990)

It's October so Phoenix watched and reviewed a Halloween-ish movie, Edward Scissorhands which he hadn't seen since about 1994 when The Crow took over his goth needs. He runs down the plot of the movie, doesn't understand why scissors are acceptable replacements for hands, doesn't understand how Edward got 15 foot blocks of ice into his attic when he lived alone and had scissors for hands, he didn't remember that Edward was a robot, doesn't get why Anthony Michael Hall had to do such a complicated plan to get a mattress in his creepy van and then sums up the movie, Johnny Depp and Tim Burton / Bim Turton to end the show.

www.loiteringinwonderland.com

Check out the other shows on the LIW network on iTunes, YouTube and Stitcher!

 

62: Outcast (2014)

OUR REUNION SHOW! - Finally we have Phoenix, Mario and Brad back in studio for a special reunion show. Brad hasn't been on the show in almost a year to the day so we thought we'd get the band back together. But, it wouldn't be a reunion without going back to our roots. Episode 1 roots. So, in special celebration we watched another Nic Cage movie. This one is titled Outcast. The title pissed Brad off to no end. We aren't really sure what the movie was about other than killing some evil prince or something but we know one thing...it need more Nic Cage. 

www.loiteringinwonderland.com

Check out the other shows on the LIW network on iTunes, YouTube and Stitcher!

61: Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No! (2015)

In this installment we watched Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No! and are now terrified of bad sequels. That was what the point of the movie was right? This episode features Phoenix, Brent, Bri, Philip, Sterling and our new engineer Ernie. Watch this movie and then listen to our review if you hate yourself!

www.loiteringinwonderland.com

Check out the other shows on the LIW network on iTunes, YouTube and Stitcher!

60: Kung Fury (2015)

We watched Kung Fury and now we know there is a god. We need no further proof. This movie is only 30 minutes and it was the perfect amount of time. It's not often that we all enjoy the movie but this is one of those times. Go watch the entire movie on YouTube and then listen to our show! 

www.loiteringinwonderland.com

Check out the other shows on the LIW network on iTunes, YouTube and Stitcher!

59: Snitch (2013)

Confusion alert: This episode was recorded 6.12.14. It was originally an episode of The Phoenix West Show back when that was a video movie review show. Now it has been repurposed as LIW episode 59. The reason it has been ignored until almost a year to the day is because the video/audio is out of synch but since it is no longer a video show but instead an audio show, it doesn't really matter. I will post the original video to YouTube if you can bear it being out of synch. I have zero desire to fix it. Deal with it...

www.loiteringinwonderland.com

Check out the other shows on the LIW network on iTunes, YouTube and Stitcher!

58: Puppet Master 9: Axis Of Evil (2010) (MIW10)

UPDATE - Originally this was Midnight In Wonderland video episode. When that show merged with LIW it became LIW episode 58. (Originally aired 9.15.14)

In this installment we learned the true timeline of WW2. Turns out we were all wrong. Puppet Master had it right and now we have to get busy rewriting our history books. Heil history!

57: Puppet Master Vs. Demonic Toys (2004) (MIW9)

UPDATE - Originally this was Midnight In Wonderland video episode. When that show merged with LIW it became LIW episode 57. (Originally aired 9.7.14)

In this installment we barely talk bout the movie we watched. In fact, all we really mention about it is that Corey Feldman is 34 in the movie but is made up to be an old father despite being only about 7 years older than his daughter. He even talks with a fake old man voice. Terrible. Turns out Phoenix had already seen this movie very recently but completely removed it from his memory. We spend the episode talking about recent TV shows (Breaking Bad, The Wire, Weeds and upcoming Gotham). Then we talk about different directors that we love/hate at the same time. We kept forgetting to talk about Puppet Master Vs. Demonic Toys but that's for everyone's benefit. 

56: Puppet Master 8: The Legacy (2003) (MIW8)

UPDATE - Originally this was Midnight In Wonderland video episode. When that show merged with LIW it became LIW episode 56. (Originally aired 8.31.14)

In this installment we are forced to revisit the first 7 Puppet Master movies against our will because this movie is a fucking clip-show. Shame on you Charles Band, shame on you. We mostly discuss Josh Hartnett and how we haven't seen him in a while. This movie was a pointless piece of shit that apparently starred the Dos Equis Most Interesting Man In The World dude. Don't waste your time watching this.

55: Puppet Master 7: Retro Puppet Master (1999) (MIW7)

UPDATE - Originally this was Midnight In Wonderland video episode. When that show merged with LIW it became LIW episode 55. (Originally aired 8.24.14)

In this installment, you know what? Fuck it. In the 7th movie they rewrote their own history more times than a drunk grandpa making up war stories. This one made absolutely no sense, from the opening in 1944 to a random event leading to a flashback to 1892 that involves first draft versions of the puppets we know and love, bad guys from first century Egypt that look like the strangers from Dark City but sound like Darth Vader, to a completely foreign cast that couldn't speak in any accent or act at all. Holy shit. I'm so exhausted from writing that sentence that I think I'll start over. In this installment we watched Puppet Master 7 and it was 7 times worse than the first one. I've done the math and it's true. Want proof? Watch it.

54: Puppet Master 6: Curse Of The Puppet Master (1998) (MIW6)

UPDATE - Originally this was Midnight In Wonderland video episode. When that show merged with LIW it became LIW episode 54. (Originally aired 6.22.14)

In this installment, we watched the 6th Puppet Master movie and had a hard time keeping our shit together. This was the most poorly made PM movie yet but it was more enjoyable than all the rest combined. This movie follows Tank, a child-like retard as he becomes a puppet maker, sex machine and eventually the puppet master. This movie was released in 1998 but it appears to have been 1992 pretending to be 1943. It was a confusing shitpile of a movie.