In this episode, Phoenix West discusses the terrible goddamn sequel to Westworld....Futureworld. For some reason they had to completely replace Westworld because of the robot killings but kept Romanworld and Medievalworlds. They were all massacres so why just replace the cheapest one to maintain? Because the original movie was called Westworld, of course! Nonsense. The robots in this sequel are all hyper aware of the fact that they were built to fuck humans. And they LOVE it. And I hated it. The movie that is.
310 - LIW Westworld Review - 3 - The Original (101)
The first episode of a sci-fi show in always great. Where it goes from there is unknown. Just ask Lost. Anyway, in this episode, Phoenix West discusses the recent rush to make television shows out of movies. It's not as bad as when they used to make children's cartoons out of every comedy movie but it's getting confusing. Why Teen Wolf? Anyway, Westworld is awesome and we hope it stays that way.
307 - LIW The Walking Dead Review - 64 - The Walking Dead - 702 - The Well
In this episode, Phoenix talks about how many black British kings there were throughout history. Also, Shiva is a real tiger and not a stuffed toy or poster like he had hoped but he doesn't address that in the episode so that's what this long sentence is for. Deal with it. This episode serves one purpose: make you hate Morgan less. It worked.
306 - LIW American Horror Story Review - 18 - Chapter 6 (606)
In this episode, Phoenix reveals Kathy Bates to be his favorite actress. He loves her in this episode. It was about all he loved in the episode though. The new show within the show sounds fun but it's kind of boring to watch everyone hang out. Then the show spoils itself and somehow that makes it better and more suspenseful. Doesn't make sense but it's true. Find out how within this episode..
305 - LIW American Horror Story Review - 17 - Chapter 5 (605)
In this episode, Phoenix talks about the terrible actress at the beginning that plays the historian. He also then goes off track to explain how much it pisses him off that it's "an historian" and "an hour" instead of "a historian" and "a hour". He then questions how Wes Bentley managed to pick up Kathy Bates, being half her size and all. Whatever, is the show over now? Only 5 episodes into a 12 or 13 episode season and the show feels over.
304 - LIW American Horror Story Review - 16 - Chapter 4 (604)
In this episode, Phoenix talks about this episode. Obviously. What else would he talk about? Wait, he goes off topic a lot. He talks about having dirty woods sex some more and how the only time you're in the woods is to do something disgusting, bury a body, hide porn or homeless sex. Those are the only options. Hiking is not an option. He also makes many references to Lady Gaga being the horse in "horse's mouth."
301 - LIW The Walking Dead Review - 63 - The Walking Dead - 701 - The Day Will Come When You Won't Be
In this episode, Phoenix gives a spoiler free review of Negan killing Glenn and Abraham to death, all the way until they no longer contained life. Murder. What a bad man. What a handsome bad man that Phoenix would totally bang if given half a chance. Half a chance? Does that imply rape? Not sure but it's still true.
303 - LIW American Horror Story Review - 15 - Chapter 3 (603)
In this episode, Phoenix talks about rough sex in the woods. Barely. But enough. The show introduces one of the greatest characters to do an impression of: Cricket. He's basically just the Poltergeist lady mixed with Truman Capote. So much fun to impersonate!
302 - LIW American Horror Story Review - 14 - Chapter 2 (602)
In this...this episode is pointless so let's get it over with. The only thing this episode adds is the addition of Flora and then the subtraction of Flora. It easily could have been tagged onto the end of episode 1 or the beginning of episode 3. Nobody is spooked out by killer nurses, AHS. Nobody.
300 - LIW The Walking Dead Review - 62 - Fear The Walking Dead - 215 - North
In this episode, Phoenix starts off like he's having a stroke but recollects and finishes the episode in amazing fashion. He continues to talk about how Madison is the most dangerous person in this world because of pure stupidity. He also talks about the bullshit scene in which Madison thinks searching dead bodies for clues for Colonia is a good idea when those dead bodies were there because they were being tortured for evidence as to where Colonia is. But it worked out somehow. Bullshit.
299 - LIW The Walking Dead Review - 61 - Fear The Walking Dead - 214 - Wrath
In this episode, Phoenix is let down by what happens to Chris. This episode has two of the best shots/scenes in the show so far but one of them takes away a future villain. Is it what's best for the show or just shock value at this point? Phoenix doesn't answer that question in this episode. Listen anyway.
298 - LIW The Walking Dead Review - 60 - Fear The Walking Dead - 213 - Date Of Death
In this episode, Phoenix continues to talk about how stupid Madison is. He also talks about loving Chris now and how well the show is showing his rise to becoming a villain. Also, yelling "Goddamn you, Chris." is just good fatherly advice.
297 - LIW The Walking Dead Review - 59 - Fear The Walking Dead - 212 - Pillar Of Salt
In this episode, Phoenix ruins Madison and her stupid decisions that are purely dangerous to the entire group of survivors at the hotel. She's scary stupid. Scarier than the zombies. As smart as the zombies. Anyway, not much happens in this episode so it's hard to talk about in length. Enjoy.
296 - LIW The Walking Dead Review - 58 - Fear The Walking Dead - 211 - Pablo & Jessica
In this episode, Phoenix is way behind on this show. At the point of recording, the entire second season of FTWD show has aired as well as the first episode of The Walking Dead's season 7. But anyway, fuck the pier scene in this episode. Fuck it hard. With super loud epic music.
295 - B-Movie Battle! 3 - Halloween III Season Of The Witch (1982)
In our annual (starting now) Halloween episode, dubbed “Un-Freehouse Of Horror” Brent Puccio and Phoenix West were forced into watching Halloween III: Season Of The Witch (1982) by gunman Heroin Joe Ramirez. They break down the movie using movie footage, footage of them watching the movie and footage of them discussing the movie. Lots of footage. Lots of making fun of a terrible shit-show of a movie. Police dragged that movie for three days and nary a Michael Myers was found. So there could be no comparison made between Halloween 3 and the blood-stained corpses of the comedians. And that, also, is very convenient, isn’t it, Mr. Seymour Busch?
Music by: www.Bensound.com
Songs used: Creepy & Moose
293 - LIW The Twilight Zone Review - 36 - A World Of His Own (TZ 136)
In this episode Phoenix West talks about the psychopath main character of this episode, Mr. Greggory West. Are the two men related? We may never know. What do you call a man that creates women just to fuck, make him drinks and then when they start having free will and thoughts of their own he throws them into the fire? According to Rod Serling: a romantic. According to Phoenix West: a dangerous psychopath. What do you think?
292 - LIW The Twilight Zone Review - 35 - The Mighty Casey (TZ 135)
In this episode, Phoenix talks about how robots can totally be programmed to smile. Yes they can! Don't argue with me. Also, using robots to pitch in your professional baseball game is bullshit. It's cheating. Call it what you want. I call it cheating.
294 - B-Movie Battle! 2 - Thrashin' (1986) vs. Witchery (1988)
Kidnapped movie reviewers Brent Puccio and Phoenix West are back. This time they are forced into watching Thrashin' (1986) and Witchery (1988). Will one of them be worse than the previous champion Hired To Kill (1990)? Use your eyes and ears to find out within this episode. Plus, what's the deal with Phoenix's mystery stomach ache?
All music by: www.Bensound.com
Songs used: "Dubstep" "Funky Element" and "Moose".
291 - LIW The Twilight Zone Review - 34 - The After Hours (TZ 134)
This episode of The Twilight Zone can be solved in minutes. In this episode, Phoenix discusses the amazing possibility that Marsha wasn't really a mannequin but was instead schizophrenic and pretending to be a mannequin at the end. I want to watch that episode more than the actual episode.
290 - LIW The Twilight Zone Review - 33 - Mr. Bevis (TZ 133)
In this episode, Phoenix has a debate as to whether or not Mr. Bevis was in fact literally a retarded person or not. It's not entirely clear. Watching one terrible thing after another happen to him is much sadder when seen through that lens. At any rate, zither music is not music you should have an active interest in.