This episode confused the holy hell out of Phoenix while also being a quality episode. Why does Alicia have perfect makeup during the zombie apocalypse? Why aren't they sending the bitten to go fix the AC? Why did everyone goddamn die except our main characters? None if it made any sense but it had great moments.
Also, Phoenix does a serious tribute to Tom Petty which might be the only serious moment on any LIW show to date.
We've officially entered TWD storytelling path. One episode here, the next there. Please don't hang out in this territory too long. This episode isn't what I thought it would be. It wasn't about a civil war. It was about a zombie war. It's about brother against brother...which sounds like a civil war description but isn't. Wait what?
If you love watching actors spouting out serious dialogue all the while having poop smeared on their faces and clothing, this is the episode you've been waiting for. You disgusting, disgusting human being. This is also yet another episode entirely based on water. The most exciting element after fire and earth.
Yet another episode where Phoenix rants about the difference between FTWD and TWD when it comes to pacing. This episode isn't amazing but it's a great example of how to cut between two different storylines. TWD needs to learn to do this. No, we did not need an entire episode about Tara hanging out at a girl's camp. That could have been PART of an episode. Not the ENTIRE episode. Anyway, this episode is about water drug dealing and how to not do it. Madison makes terrible decisions. But you knew that already.
Madison is a terrible leader and should be discredited whenever she speaks. With that being said, Phoenix is very excited about where this season is headed. This specific episode is all about fear, paranoia and water. This Otto clan is so weak that it takes them a total of two days to devolve into a Lord Of The Flies situation. Weak gang, bro.
Phoenix started this out with a test. Run down the main characters. Which ones do you care about? If they died would you care? Do you like them? Phoenix reveals his answer before and after the mid-season finale. Okay. Let's begin. This episode contained 2 heads delivered in bags and that's a pretty decent amount of heads. It also featured a desperate plea from the writers of the show to the audience to not hate their top billed actress. It didn't work. Good episode but didn't feel like a mid-season finale.
This episode is the worst. Not the worst episode but literally all the worst things are happening. Nick is sick and maybe dying. Alicia is nothing still. Madison is in charge. Victor and Daniel are MIA. Ofelia is the new villain. Lucianna is still alive. Following kid is nearly scalped. What the fuck is happening? In no way could this be a result of Madison constantly making the worst decisions possible. Nope. Phoenix also breaks down how those terrible decisions must be handled by Madison.
This episode is full of stupid choices that lead stupid characters to stupid places. Also, some of our characters are mind readers. It's true. Watch the episode and you'll see. Or save yourself 40 minutes and don't watch it. You'll miss my grandpa who appears in this episode. It's not true. Anyway, this episode was all the fuck over the place and it's pretty much just a filler episode for the season.
This episode featues a great buddy road scene, elderly murder-suicide, house fire, Dear John letter, compounded lies, the worst gift in the world and waking up a near murder. Plus, Phoenix cannot keep Ofelia and Luciana seperate. He knows the difference in the characters but cannot say the right name and it's destroying his brain. He will be insane by the end of this season.
Daniel is back and sexier than ever. He meets Jesus, confesses his sins, is forgiven and then god saves his life via lightening. It's all very biblical and unnecessary. Regardless, this episode is Phoenix's favorite episode of the series so far. This episode also doesn't feature a single member of the Clark family. Coincidence? Nope.
This episode is super awkward followed by super awesome. Starts off with a great VHS training video in the vein of American't 6: Customer Service. Go watch that on our YouTube page. Seriously. Go. Anyway, Madison sucks. Alicia sucks. Nick is awesome. Travis is still dead. Sons Of Anarchy guy is a mystery. The Following kid is an awesome pussy. His brother is a lovable psychopath. Oh, there is a head in a cage in a bucket that can somehow make noises despite not having vocal chords. Who knows. It's just whatever you want with zombies.
During this opening sentence, several characters on popular shows have died. This episode is strange. Shocking beginning. Incest in the center. Boring conversations at the end. Want to hold a folder for a few seconds? Okay I'll take it back now. Thanks for holding it. I don't get it. Everyone on this show seems so mysterious and weird. Not sure this show is worth watching anymore. Not sure...
The Clark family is back and ready for more zombie killing family fun! This episode was such a letdown for a season premiere. Seriously. Who loves bottle episodes? Just sad TV watching alcoholics? That can't be true because Phoenix didn't really care for this episode. He was even admittedly drunk during this review. There is an easter egg in this one. Find it and enjoy if you can.
It's over! It's finally over! What percentage of the plotlines were resolved in this season finale? 9%? Maybe. Here's an honest question, wouldn't the Sasha flashback scenes with Abraham mean more to you if they did it with Maggie and Glenn instead? Especially considering the entire ending was Maggie talking about Glenn's sacrifices. Just a thought. Anyway, I'll see you next season. I'll be the guy describing the boring plot into a microphone.
This episode did the cross-cutting style of writing-editing correctly. The rest of the season did not. The problem is that this episode should have happened 7 episodes ago. It is simply too late for any of this to feel like the second to last episode of the season. Negan is in it... so there's that. He has 1 scene with 3 minutes of screen time. I guess that will have to do... I'll take what I can get at this point.
Sasha and Rosita get their own comedy spin-off episode! Or something like that. You know how Negan is the main villain that the entire plot is currently revolving around? Right? Right. Let's show that character for 8 1/2 silent seconds. Literally not one word of audible dialogue. That's a great way to build up hatred for your important villain. He's so evil!....probably. Who here would watch an all-Negan spin-off if they made it? I know I would. (AMC...send me a check now.)
This episode is strange. Impressions galore. Bad ones of course. The Walking Dead is in a bad state when Morgan and The Kingdom breathe life into the show. No CGI deer in this episode but there is a CGI animal still. No, not the lion, but the terrible actress that talks to Ezekiel about plants. She isn't real.
This episode isn't worth writing anything of value here. So intead I'll use this space to recommend good recent small movies. It Follows. Green Room. Creep. I Don't Feel At Home In This World Anymore. Filth. Charlie Countryman. Dom Hemingway. Krisha. The Good Neighbor. I Am Not A Serial Killer. Don't Breathe. The End of The Tour. Swiss Army Man. Horns. Cop Car. What We Do In The Shadows. The Trust.
Finally! We got an all Eugene episode! He's everyone's favorite character, right? Right? Right! Well you're watching him anyway. This episode did not need to happen. At all. The Dwight stuff was good but the rest is just unnecessary.
Fuck this fucking episode. This is by far the angriest episode of LIW The Walking Dead Review. Phoenix is DONE caring about what happens on The Walking Dead. Fucking done. It's officially just a video game passed off as a TV show. Rick fights a Silent Hill zombie in a pile of trash. He then piles trash on it and kills it with a rock. The audience is that zombie, the episodes are the trash and the obviousness in the show is the rock. Figure it out. Done... just done with it.
