11: Self Helpless Book

Put all of your self-help books in the garbage because this episode of American't will be all the help your codependent mind could possibly ever need. Let's take a pause in the episode description to remind you that you're super special. Anyay, this 12 step program read straight from American't: Self Helpless Book will guide you to becoming a soaring, golden God. Look in the mirror. Aren't you luck?

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10: LIW Home Improvement

In this informative show from the LIW Home Improvement Network, Chet Mayhew teaches the viewer how to lay tile in a kitchen. Chet is then interrupted by a phone call. Things quickly go horribly wrong.

9: Bad Award Acceptance Speeches

Tired of the predictable Oscar speeches year after year? Well, this year let LIW give you improvised award speeches for made up movies starring made up actors in made up roles. Best bestiality scene? We got the speech for it. Most awkward sex scene? You bet we have it and you bet it was starring a brother and sister acting duo. Hollywood could learn a thing or two about speeches from watching this episode of American't.

List of awards presented: Best Bestiality Scene Best Caterer Best Musicial Solo in a non-musical film Best Original Score Best Original Screenplay Best Performance In A Documentary Best Product Placement Best Rap Battle Best Sex Scene Best Voice Acting Biggest Asshole On Set Longest Onscreen Erection Most Alcoholic Actor Most Awkard Sex Scene Saddest World War 2 Soundtrack Ugliest Cry Face Worst Boom Mic Operator Worst Use Of Special Effects

P.S. - Sorry for Special Ed. Seriously.

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American't 8: White Privilege Poker

Does white privilege exist? Watch this American't sketch done in the style of an arts & crafts project in which Phoenix West plays Texas Hold-em poker with bobbleheads of all races. It's weird.

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Our other shows:
Video:
American't, Shitty Movie Showdown!, Nic Cage Cast, Hack From The Future
Audio:
The Phoenix West Show!, LIW Movie Review, LIW The Twilight Zone Review, LIW (Fear) The Walking Dead Review, LIW American Horror Story Review, LIW Westworld Review, LIW Improv Theater

7: Colin Kaepernick

One of the original episodes I had planned before American't started was patriotism and nonsense rituals. So, that was always the idea behind the show, I wanted to get a few episodes under my belt before I started to tackle it. I was going to wait even longer but this Colin Kaepernick situation pushed me over the edge. So, enjoy my point of view on Colin Kapernick, Tomi Lahren (the robot of hate), patriotic rituals, The Star Spangled Banner, soldiers and whatever else I talked about in this one. Oh, this was supposed to be published in a more timely manner but I was sick and could barely speak. Deal with it. - Phoenix West

Songs used: Tomorrow, Epic, Extreme Action and Moose, all by:
bensound.com

6: Customer Service

In this episode, you will learn the value of providing excellent customer service to your shitty customers. Congratulations on working for LIW. You will watch this lost 1986 training video on customer service from Loitering In Wonderland and you will learn from it. You will witness examples of both good and bad customer service. See if you can tell the difference. DING EXTRAPICKLES HONK IWOULDLIKETORETURNTHISITEM GOFUCKYOURSELF DING ISYOURMANAGERHERE? THEYAREONTOYOU PICKLES THECUSTOMERISALWAYSRIGHT KILLTHEMALL DING DING DING HONK SLAUGHTERTHECUSTOMER HONK DING DING DINGSALANOIEPAOIRANLAKRAOIDK.ZX.ASOBOPIWRAOIAL2I2022$##%NSIOIWOIEE*

5: Traffic

In this episode, Phoenix West covers the well worn topic of traffic. What is behind it? Why is it here? Aliens? Possibly. He certainly couldn't rule out the possibility without asking it directly. This episode gets really fucking weird so strap in/on and watch this with friends.

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4: Red Vs. Blue (Blue Edition)

Stereotypes ahead. Red Vs. Blue is split into two episodes (one for Republicans (red) and one for Democrats (blue). This is to help you make a smoother transition into joining the Fence Party.

Phoenix West hates both sides of the political tug-of-war. Here he explains in detail why both sides are incredibly full of shit. Miguel Brambila stopped by to help out. It gets preachy so fucking deal with it.

Episode 4 is the BLUE edition. The one for DEMOCRATS. Share this with all your redneck friends.

3: Red Vs. Blue (Red Edition)

Stereotypes ahead. Red Vs. Blue is split into two episodes (one for Republicans (red) and one for Democrats (blue). This is to help you make a smoother transition into joining the Fence Party.

Phoenix West hates both sides of the political tug-of-war. Here he explains in detail why both sides are incredibly full of shit. Miguel Brambila stopped by to help out. It gets preachy so fucking deal with it.

Episode 3 is the RED edition. The one for REPUBLICANS. Share this with all your redneck friends.

2: Horoscopes

This episode is a real treat, not just because Phoenix had to edit it three times due to technical difficulties but because it's fucking awesome. There will definitely be a part 2 for horoscopes sometime. Share with everyone so we can grow and make better ones down the road!

Horoscopes. They're bullshit. Here's why! (Plus a sex show using only zodiac symbols. It gets really weird.)

1: Christmas Trees

Welcome to the first episode of American't from LIW Studios. This episode is made up of studio footage, live stand-up footage and memes made by you. To submit ideas/memes send Phoenix West an electronic letter via digital carrier pigeon at loiteringinwonderland@gmail.com