I can't believe how insensitive people were about midgets back in the 60's. This episode is wall-to-wall midget jokes. Even the title itself is a cruel joke. A man becomes a god and goes insane with laughter before being killed by irony. It was an episode. That's about all we can say about it.
104: TZ1959 - 327 - Person Or Persons Unknown
We're finally here. The episode that sparked the idea for doing a podcast review of The Twilight Zone. All because of one glorious moment in this episode. Listen to find out what it is. Are we doing a teaser? For some reason we are.
103: The Simi Valley Acorn Is Still Written In The Twilight Zone
Time to visit this podcasts favorite newspaper: The Simi Valley Acorn which is still being written and distributed inside The Twilight Zone. This place must be a magical mess. Today Phoenix tackles a creepy photographer, an article about people staring at chalk, an officer that cheated on his timecard and then discusses the best pro sport there is: pickleballing. What is pickleballing? You'll have to listen to find out. Spoiler: we don't find out.
102: TZ1959 - 326 - Little Girl Lost
Kids are always falling out of bed, rolling under the bed and then doing rolls into the wall into the fourth dimension. Phoenix and Frank discuss the drunken wreck that is the wife and the abusive prick that is the dad. Plus, we all need a friend like Bill.
101: TZ1959 - 101 - Where Is Everybody? Redux
Watch as a man walks around alone and screams at all the nobody there. Watch as a man walks around alone and fights a phone booth. Watch other things as well.
100: TZ1959 - 325 - The Fugitive
NAMBLA endorses this episode of The Twilight Zone. Watch this episode and then scrub yourself afterward because you will feel sick. Just listen to this episode and count how many times the word 'pedophile' comes up.
99: TZ1959 - 324 - To Serve Man
Considered one of the best TZ episodes for some reason. It's a good episode with a ton of flaws. Mainly being if your overall goal is to come to earth to trick people into willingly coming back to your home planet so that you can eat them there... why the holy fuck bring the goddamn cook book to earth at all? You especially wouldn't just leave it behind after a meeting for the people to find and possibly translate. These are supposed to be superior creatures.
98: TZ1959 - 323 - The Last Rites Of Jeff Myrtlebank
Welcome to the mid-west where everyone has southern accents and say southern sayings and live in the south but is still the mid-west for some reason. A totally mid-western man awakens in his coffin at his funeral but don't you dare sue his doctor for malpractice. Watch as this zombie pedophile threatens people with horrific plagues before escorting his underage bride-to-be through the gates of hell.
97: TZ1959 - 102 - One For The Angels Redux
Another redux episode so Frank can chime in to talk about this selfish pedophile's battle against Death who apparenly has a quota like a ticket giving motorcycle cop. Why does Death carry cash? Why does he need so many ties? How do you grab a toy robot by mistake when you were trying to grab a tie? Why would birds carry silk across the ocean to make ties? So many tie related questions. Lou? Lou. Lou! Lou... Lou, can you hear me, Lou?
96: TZ1959 - 322 - A Piano In the House
Songs that make reveal your true inner self. Who needs a lie detector test when they can just bring in a player piano into the courtroom and get people truly talking? Best 'rich guy' villain so far in the TZ. We are back with our sound mixer and Frank's slurring makes a furious comeback. Witness the hot mess.
95: TZ1959 - 321 - Kick The Can
They kick a can in the most confusing game of hide-and-seek ever where you count by 5's to 100. Aluminum cans apparently have magical powers that transport you from death's door to a physically abused child of 8. It's just the worst.
94: TZ1959 - 320 - Showdown With Rance McGrew
Rance is a first name. Believe it. The production featured in this episode is beyond inept. They allow the star to make major plot changes to the show on a whim. They have the camera directly behind the director and script supervisor. They apparently have an unlimited mirror budget. They get zero coverage for the editor so good luck getting those stunt double shots in there.
93: TZ1959 - 319 - The Hunt
Watch in awe as an old man mocks his 50 year old wife in old lady make-up about how he never touches her anymore before he dies in a mild stream. Then he almost goes somewhere and then goes somewhere else. The end. AWE.
92: TZ1959 - 318 - Dead Man's Shoes
Magic shoes and shitty sound quality sum up this episode. If you're curious about the sound then check out the 2018 State Of The Studio Address episode that you probably skipped. You make bad life choices. So do bums with their shoe theft plans that get them killed. Anyway, we are back and so is Dane.
91: TZ1959 - 317 - One More Pallbearer
Cut the last 2 minutes and this episode is amazing. For once the twist endings got in the way of our enjoyment. Either way, witness the most pathetic person ever scream out the most pathetic dialogue ever. Witness two podcasters do the same. Or something. Whatever makes the joke work.
90: TZ1959 - 129 - Nightmare As A Child Redux
Another redux episode. Somehow Frank doesn't love this one as much as he does the one where the guy lays on a couch and goddamn dies. Is this the creepiest episode of The Twilight Zone ever? The guy admits to having a crush on a 10-11 year old when he's easily 25 years older than the girl. He also still carries around a photograph of the girl from that age. He then has the balls to show the grown up the photo of her a a child. So yeah, it's pretty creepy.
89: TZ1959 - 316 - Nothing In The Dark
Rod ruins this episode several times before the reveal even happens so why bother watching this, right? Actually it's a sweet episode with a nice little lesson in it. It's not terribly exciting but if you're a fan of antiques then this is your goddamn episode. Fan of hoarding? Your episode. Fan of murdering old ladies? Please stop listening to our show and go turn yourself in.
88: TZ1959 - 315 - A Quality Of Mercy
Racist or nah? Phoenix and Frank come up with several different ideas of how to do this episode in a better way. We don't think the actor himself had to turn Japanese. We really think so.
87: TZ1959 - 314 - Five Characters In Search Of An Exit
If you've ever wanted a Toy Story / Saw crossover then you're in luck. These toys have souls and are tortured by that fact. The toy gods over at Mattel have some explaining to do. Oh shit, they sponsored this episode. Those toy gods over at Mattel have some great products. If you buy your child a homelessman action figure then you hate your goddamn kids. At least give them to the orphans. As if they don't have enough problems.
86: TZ1959 - 313 - Once Upon A Time
All the best stories revolve around elderly janitors. It isn't depressing as shit or anything. Phoenix and Frank start off talking about having to masturbate to VHS porn before the internet was around. It's a rough life, folks. Oh yeah, we also discuss this episode of The Twilight Zone.