Kick the old lady who keeps ghosts in her mind. This is a Static episode. Old people episodes. This one has some serious acting and pleading not to be involved int he plot of the episode.
30: A Small Talent For War (115B)
To Serve Man a shorter serving of alien invasion during a NATO meeting.
29: The Storyteller (203A)
What in the boring was this? Thank Christ this woman never married with children. Stories will literally keep you immortal.
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28: Need To Know (121A)
We really enjoyed this episode of The X-Files. Sorry, we mean to say episode of The X-Files. Weird. It keeps auto-correcting The X-Files to The X-Files.
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27: A Matter Of Minutes (115C)
Time moves minute by minute despite the fact we didn’t operate that way until fairly recently in a grand sense of things. Whatever, sci-fi is sci-fi. Enjoy this weird one. Seriously, great performance in Pig.
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26: Father & Son Game (330)
Robits and computors are the future. Both are spelled wrong on purpose. Read them in the intended manner. Either way you’re rooting for the ‘villain’ of the episode. Enjoy as this terrible actor reads terrible dialogue terribly.
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25: Special Service (329)
The original version of The Truman Show did not have nearly enough setup. It just starts with revealing the truth without us seeing the man alone for more than a few seconds. It’s good. Definitely one of the best of the 85 series.
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24: The Elevator (116A)
What in the holy hell was this? Why did you do this to us Ray Bradbury? The only real thing I want to mention in case I forget to on the show is that Stephen Geoffrey then went on to do gay porn. Just a few times. He didn’t make a whole thing about it. Just dabbled in it. Strange to even bother then.
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23: The Road Less Travelled (207)
What happened? VIET-GODDAMN-NAM HAPPENED! Also Wes Craven and George R.R. Martin happened and a man touches himself in front of his furniture wife.
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22: Gramma (118A)
I loved this. It was creepy and well done. Weird to say that about an episode that was made after the original series but here I am.
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21: Children's Zoo (103B)
This was the best of the shorts we’ve watched. Maybe. At least it didn’t have a stupid joke written by Jack Laird.
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20: The Burning Man (108B)
The set up for the Jeepers Creepers movies. It’s only 11 minutes long but has a Damien devil child, aunt swimming incest and Old Man Marley shouting murder plots to an 8 year old boy. It has it all while still being a waste of time.
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19: Dead Woman's Shoes (109A)
Remember that episode of the classic series called Dead Man’s Shoes? Yes. It’s that but ladies shoes. Women be shopping. Women love their shoes so much that they even go dumpster diving to get their greedy little feet in these bastards. I guess the moral is don’t kill your wife? Don’t fire your criminal protection maid? Just don’t do anything until we update you on what the lesson should be.
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18: Profile In Silver (120A)
I’m writing this episode description about 11 hours before we start recording. I watched the 3 episodes we are reviewing on the live show and for the life of me I truly cannot remember what this episode is. I watched it less than 20 hours ago and all memory is gone. Profile In Silver…. Profile In Silver…. Nope, nothing. It’s about werewolves? No, I’d remember that. It’s about black and white mug shot photography? No, that sounds interesting. Literally no memory of it.
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17: Love Is Blind (327)
Those blind folks will do you right. Always trust a musician. Your wife is never cheating on you. Which lesson did you come away with? Me neither.
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16: The Library (122C)
Frances Conroy stars in this original version of both TZ2019’s The Comedian and TZ1985’s Button, Button which happens later in this season. At least it’s short. This one actually could have been longer if they had a little more going on but it’s fine. It’s just fine.
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15: What Are Friends For? (202A)
Guessed this entire episode during the opening scene. Fred Savage, Tom Skerritt, Lukas Haas and Mark-Paul Gosselaar can’t even save this one. It’s not horrible but feels like an episode of Are You Afraid Of The Dark? That wasn’t a question, the show name just has a question mark on it.
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14: One Life, Furnished In Early Poverty (111B)
The remake of Walking Distance had a lot of child abuse. Is it still pedophilia if it’s your younger self?
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13: A Message From Charity (106B)
Turns out there is an original episode of the 2019 Twilight Zone episode Meet In The Middle. It’s about different timelines with a complete idiot teenager who will surely die alone banging a rock.
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12: Private Channel (209C)
Glue this together with Nightmare At 20,000 Feet and you get yourself 2019’s Nightmare At 30,000 Feet. This is a waste of time. Completely.
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