What happened? VIET-GODDAMN-NAM HAPPENED! Also Wes Craven and George R.R. Martin happened and a man touches himself in front of his furniture wife.
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22: Gramma (118A)
I loved this. It was creepy and well done. Weird to say that about an episode that was made after the original series but here I am.
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21: Children's Zoo (103B)
This was the best of the shorts we’ve watched. Maybe. At least it didn’t have a stupid joke written by Jack Laird.
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20: The Burning Man (108B)
The set up for the Jeepers Creepers movies. It’s only 11 minutes long but has a Damien devil child, aunt swimming incest and Old Man Marley shouting murder plots to an 8 year old boy. It has it all while still being a waste of time.
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19: Dead Woman's Shoes (109A)
Remember that episode of the classic series called Dead Man’s Shoes? Yes. It’s that but ladies shoes. Women be shopping. Women love their shoes so much that they even go dumpster diving to get their greedy little feet in these bastards. I guess the moral is don’t kill your wife? Don’t fire your criminal protection maid? Just don’t do anything until we update you on what the lesson should be.
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18: Profile In Silver (120A)
I’m writing this episode description about 11 hours before we start recording. I watched the 3 episodes we are reviewing on the live show and for the life of me I truly cannot remember what this episode is. I watched it less than 20 hours ago and all memory is gone. Profile In Silver…. Profile In Silver…. Nope, nothing. It’s about werewolves? No, I’d remember that. It’s about black and white mug shot photography? No, that sounds interesting. Literally no memory of it.
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17: Love Is Blind (327)
Those blind folks will do you right. Always trust a musician. Your wife is never cheating on you. Which lesson did you come away with? Me neither.
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16: The Library (122C)
Frances Conroy stars in this original version of both TZ2019’s The Comedian and TZ1985’s Button, Button which happens later in this season. At least it’s short. This one actually could have been longer if they had a little more going on but it’s fine. It’s just fine.
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15: What Are Friends For? (202A)
Guessed this entire episode during the opening scene. Fred Savage, Tom Skerritt, Lukas Haas and Mark-Paul Gosselaar can’t even save this one. It’s not horrible but feels like an episode of Are You Afraid Of The Dark? That wasn’t a question, the show name just has a question mark on it.
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14: One Life, Furnished In Early Poverty (111B)
The remake of Walking Distance had a lot of child abuse. Is it still pedophilia if it’s your younger self?
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13: A Message From Charity (106B)
Turns out there is an original episode of the 2019 Twilight Zone episode Meet In The Middle. It’s about different timelines with a complete idiot teenager who will surely die alone banging a rock.
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12: Private Channel (209C)
Glue this together with Nightmare At 20,000 Feet and you get yourself 2019’s Nightmare At 30,000 Feet. This is a waste of time. Completely.
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11: Button, Button (120B)
The story/episode that Richard Kelly’s last movie was based on. His last movie was 2009. It was The Box. This episode however has the most annoying couple that I hoped they died the entire time.
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10: Rendezvous In A Dark Place (325)
Frank watched the wrong episode again so he can’t say much. Anyway, a semi-remake of Nothing In The Dark leaves a woman horny for death.
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9: The Curious Case Of Edgar Witherspoon (301)
Seriously. If this is what the world wants just let it die. We have a heated debate in this episode. We also reveal a nice surprise in the personal lives of the podcasters. That never happens.
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8: The Card (208A)
MY BABY!!!! Well this one is spoiled by the opening narration. Credit cards are the devil’s work apparently. Dickless also vanishes. Just like his dick did.
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7: Appointment On Route 17 (315)
Yet another Zale’s commercial with a twist you can guess 3 minutes into the episode. The 80’s were truly awful for everything.
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6: Teacher's Aide (107A)
In case you weren’t aware this is the 1980’s. The music will not let you forget this fact. Oh, something about a teacher being a bitch and blaming it on being a cat possessed by a gargoyle? Sure.
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5: Acts Of Terror (311)
I mean…. He’s just trying to be romantic and this woman shits all over his plans. He loves her SOOOOO much and she just won’t accept it or stop being clumsy and lazy. Then she sicks a demon dog on him. What a bitch. *SLAP
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4: The Trunk (314)
How many times do wave to watch stories like this? If you’re sick of monkey paws and genies then you’ll love this….trunk. You wish into it and nothing much happens.
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