023 - TINM! - 7 - "You Should Sue!"

March 4, 2014

In this episode we discuss the Cult Of Girl Scouts, how the Korn singer things Obama invented tweaking to pass laws, how to decide if your child is a reincarnated dictator and why kids shouldn't be allowed to drive. Also, Bri decides to sue over everything she's offended by.

In the VS. segment we only had time for one and it was a single 1000 year life vs. ten 100 year lives. Phoenix decided that Michael and he should both do the latter so he can kill Michael 100 times instead of just once.

This weeks Laws Of Life is about graveyards. He found a way to hate them.

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022 - LIW Movie Review - 14 - Leprechaun 4 - In Space (1996)

March 4, 2014

We watched Leprechaun 4 and we were excited to see it was set in the CG voids of space. We see our first bit of major nudity and it was a real wasted bummer. We marveled at this technical masterpiece, awestruck by the incredibly realistic CG spaceships. Phoenix is blown away by the fact that the Leprechaun is enlarged to 60 feet, is known for rhyming and the movie doesn't attempt a Jack And The Beanstalk reference. The rhyming possibilities were endless but they didn't even attempt any. This movie was neither scary nor funny. The story was not sane. This was barely a movie.

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021 - LIW Movie Review - 13 - Major League - Back To The Minors (1998)

February 25, 2014

We watched Major League: Back To The Minors and for the first time in our lives we missed Wesley Snipes. Historians will eventual reveal that we were the only humans in history to have had that feeling.

019 - TINM! - 5 - "You're Stunting The Growth Of The Kenyan People."

February 18, 2014

In this installment we learn the value of condoms, Michael learns to keep better notes as to not repeat himself and we discuss what our last meal on death row would be. Also, versus has us debating movies versus books and video games versus board games. Tressa brings up an old idea of the tragic slavery of the Keebler elves.

020 - TINM! - 6 - "I Want To Visit Your Subconscious Like Inception."

February 18, 2014

In this episode we talk about recent developments in combat technology, numerous people caught breaking bad because of the uncontrolable impulse to selfie and we all choose an imaginary friend. Things get ugly during the justice versus revenge segment so it is completely eliminated. We debate beer versus liquor and what our version of a personal hell would be. All of this is wrapped up with Laws Of Life in which Phoenix tells us to stop tucking shirts into jeans. Seriously. Stop it.

018 - LIW Movie Review - 12 - R.I.P.D. (2013)

February 18, 2014

We watched R.I.P.D. and now we check under our beds for dead-o's and have a fear of Mark Twain. R.I.P.D. was a R.I.P.O.F.F.

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017 - LIW Movie Review - 11 - Shocker (1989)

February 11, 2014

We watched Shocker and now we're shocked at how shockingly confused we are about Shocker. This movie is, beat for beat, A Nightmare On Elm Street with electronics. Not exactly a compliment when it's from the same director only 5 years later.

016 - TINM! - 4 - "Sounds Like You're Ready For Two Girls. And Perhaps One Cup."

February 4, 2014

In this episode we discuss the finer things in life. Finer things such as who would we have sex with if we had to go gay, what kind of drunks we think we are compared to what we really are and what animal we could be if we could choose. All of this is wrapped up with Phoenix's Laws Of Life which you're sure to obey.

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014 - LIW Movie Review - 10 - Valentine's Day (2010)

February 4, 2014

We saw Valentine's Day and now love is dead. This movie left us black hearted and wishing for a divorce from life. This movie almost broke us.

015 - TINM! - 3 - "I Don't Believe He Didn't Eat The Guy."

February 4, 2014

In episode 3 we discuss how sex-ed in school can lead to 4 year olds getting preggo. We also debate Batman Vs. Superman and Twilight Vs. Harry Potter. To finish up Phoenix unleashes a fury on dead-end roads and the group does not agree.

013 - TINM! - 2 - "I Too Think Mario Would Be A Great Ruler."

January 28, 2014

In this episode we finish what we started from episode 1 so that we can start fresh next week. We learned the value of time management. We also learned that given the possibility, Mario would destroy us all. Phoenix's Laws Of Life for the day is about all uninformed white people assuming they are Irish so that they are allowed to be drunken slobs. Enjoy!

012 - TINM! - 1 - "Your Mom Sent Me."

January 28, 2014

In this episode we catch up on the news, debate whether or not we are done seeing Johnny Depp movies, argue over whether video games are good or bad and learn a thing or two about each other. (That we can later use in a court of law.)

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011 - LIW Movie Review - 9 - Hansel & Gretel; Witch Hunters (2013)

January 28, 2014

We watched Hansel And Gretel: Witch Hunters and now we know that witches are a good alternative to sleeping pills in the villain department.

010 - LIW Movie Review - 46 - You're Next (2011)

January 26, 2014

UPDATE - Originally this was The Phoenix West Show video episode #2. When that show merged with LIW it became LIW episode 47. (Originally aired 1.26.14)

(This is an audio only version of the video, for video go to youtube.com/liwpodcast) This time I focus my hate on 2011's You're Next which was actually released in 2013. Which should tell you something. This was was very pointless and slow which made for a recipe for booze.

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009 - LIW Movie Review - 45 - The Hunger Games - Catching Fire (2013)

January 22, 2014

UPDATE - Originally this was The Phoenix West Show video episode #1. When that show merged with LIW it became LIW episode 45. (Originally aired 1.22.14)

I'm going to put The Phoenix West show on here for your listening pleasure despite the fact that it is a video show. If you like what you hear go to youtube.com/liwpodcast for more. For episode 1 I watched The Hunger Games: Catchign It was a real treat. These will be shorter in the future. Hopefully. That's not a promise. (Spoiler alert: the episodes do not get shorter.)

008 - LIW Movie Review - 8 - Deep Blue Sea (1999)

January 21, 2014

We watched Deep Blue Sea and now we are certified marine biologists. Oh, and also experts in the field of marine genetics as long as we are given the keys to rewrite their genetic makeup.

007 - LIW Movie Review - 7 - Tank Girl (1995)

January 14, 2014

We watched Tank Girl and now we have fetishes for genetically altered kangaroos. This movie was like an acid trip in the desert.

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006 - LIW Movie Review - 6 - Vamps (2012)

January 7, 2014

We watched Vamps and now want want a vampire BFF. This was a rough episode to do but we managed. Hopefully next week's episode of Tank Girl goes smoother.

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005 - LIW Movie Review - 5 - A Good Day To Die Hard (2013)

December 31, 2013

Die Hard - Amazing. Die Hard 2 - Decent. Die Hard 3 - Amazing. Die Hard 4 - Alright. Die Hard 5 - Dogshit. In this episode we break down exactly how little Bruce Willis cares about his movies nowadays.

004 - LIW Movie Review - 4 - John Carter (2012)

December 17, 2013

What can be said about a movie this ambitious? Apparently nothing because nobody saw it. We watched John Carter and tried to escape the viewing prison but kept being pulled back to it.

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2007 - Full-Circle (269 page PHYSICAL book signed with free digital copy) by Phoenix West

$15.00 $25.00

SIGNED! ONLY 2 COPIES LEFT. ONLY 13 EVER PRINTED. My very first book! Full-Circle is a book of poetry. Well, more like song lyrics without songs. Try to find your own rhythm for them because this book has 10 chapters, each with a different story. This PDF is only $5 so why not get it for yourself or a loved/hated ones Kindle or computer. Easy to read on any of your gadgets. (pw01)

Sale

2007 - Full-Circle (273 page digital book) by Phoenix West

$0.99 $5.00

My very first book! Full-Circle is a book of poetry. Well, more like song lyrics without songs. Try to find your own rhythm for them because this book has 10 chapters, each with a different story. This PDF is only $5 so why not get it for yourself or a loved/hated ones Kindle or computer. Easy to read on any of your gadgets. (pw01)

Sale

2009 - I, Of The Storm (236 page digital book) by Phoenix West

$0.99 $5.00

My very third book! My first novel though! I, Of The Storm is about camera store owner, Carter Denton and how he takes over the Los Angeles crime scene to protect his family. Or so he claims. He takes over the mob in the 1921 but by the time the 1955 arrives he's grown tired of his life as a gangster / filmmaker. This isn't a tale of "one last score before retirement." This isn't a mafia love letter. There is no hero here. Just an aging gangster reliving his not-so-glory days and pondering redemption, if it's at all possible.

Sale

2010 - Fairytales From Hell (282 page digital book) by Phoenix West

$0.99 $5.00

My very fourth book! The semi-sequel to Full-Circle is now available for digital download! Although this is a semi-sequel, it isn't necessary to read them in order. Another 10 chapters of poems, each with their own story. This one however is more fucked-up than Full-Circle so enjoy! (pw04)