Jansen picked this one. Possibly due to the minor/miner confusion. We find out live in this episode!
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25: Amazing Stories - 214 - Blue Man Down
In our first experience with Amazing Stories we were treated to a story. It was not amazing. It was predictable but not terrible. We also changed the name of the show because fuck Tales From The Crypt.
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24: Tales From The Crypt - 313 - Spoiled (Live)
So…. this show is just awful? Is that what the lesson here is? We’ve done 14 actual made to be TFTC episodes and liked 2 of them. That’s sad as hell. Please defend your love for this show and we will read it on the air. This is a romance episode without romance, murder, nudity or swearing. No thanks. We cared more about he safety of the bunny than any of the people.
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23: Tales From The Crypt - 103 - Dig That Cat... He's Real Gone
Phoenix hits his breaking point with the show after his seemingly eternal optimism tank goes empty. Jansen feels the same way but isn’t as angry. Dick is completely indifferent. Adam somehow liked this episode more than the last episode. This episodes wastes Joey Pants, Robert Wuhl and Richard Donner. I would rather die 9 times with 8 deaths than watch this again.
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22: Tales From The Crypt - 602 - Only Skin Deep (Live)
What does adding a K into the title mix really add to an episode? More sex and body hair, apparently. Jansen, Adam & Phoenix talk about this episode plus the latter two gentlemen get introduced to a band by the former. We played 8 seconds of the band as to not get banned. Fun fact, we hung out after the show and watched 30 minutes of drummers playing to get the idea. Final result…beh.
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21: Tales From The Crypt - 104 - Only Sin Deep (Live)
Watch as Duck-Fucker Jones sells her face or youth or beauty to a rotten-tooth pawn shop owner for some money. Then she regrets it. Then she kills a guy and tries to buy it back. Stolen jewelry is her collateral and old lady make-up is her reason. Or something? Anyway I can’t believe what the next episode will be…
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20: The Outer Limits - 129 - A Feasibility Study (Live)
Well, we tried. Twitter voted for the best Outer Limits episode and an episode titled A Feasibility Study won. Phoenix, Dick and Adam watched it for all 51 minutes. It was too long and had too many ideas. They tried to like it but were frustrated. Subscribe to our Patron page to listen to our live commentary episode on this one and all previous/future episodes. It’s worth it. Only $1. Anyway, we tried to describe what we witnessed here.
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19: Tales From The Crypt Demon Night (1995) (Live)
So….5 of us watched this movie and tried to talk during it and we probably missed a bunch. Then we dicussed it for way too long and probably missed even more. It is that it is. Join Phoenix, Dick, Jansen, Frank and Adam. It’s about demons. And Knights. And Billy Zane is fun even thought he didn’t show up on the show.
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18: Friday The 13th The Series - 104 - A Cup Of Time (Live)
Adam chose this show and then randomly chose this episode. There is a plant based murder system carried out by a haunted tea cup. Luckily they are in Canada and are never outside of 3 feet from tea or a homeless on a park bench. Then suddenly every character knows where to be because they all read the script. We are joined by Nik of World Class Bullshitters.
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Check out the World Class Bullshitters YouTube page.
17: Tales From The Crypt - 513 - Till Death Do We Part (Live)
Phoenix, Dick, Jansen and Adam watch a John Stamos led episode and as a rare occasion they are entertained thoroughly. If you’ve seen An Occurrence At Owl Creek Bridge then ignore that fact and just go along for the ride. The ride is in the back of a limo with a creepy, horny, old lady.
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16: Tales From The Cryptkeeper - 108 - Hyde And Go Shriek (Live)
So a tea will turn you into a werewolf? Okay let’s accept this as fact. Let’s discuss how you probably shouldn’t just take whatever drugs some guys give you in the back of a health food store. Owning a rat named Jekyll therefore makes you Hyde? We don’t get it either.
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15: Tales From The Crypt - 406 - What's Cookin' (Live)
We just don’t get his appeal. Judd Nelson brings his homeless friends along. People are eaten. Wives are ignored. Dick, Jansen, Adam and Phoenix are forced to talk about it all. Then they talk about nonsense instead of the episode because nonsense is better.
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14: Tales From The Crypt - 614 - 99 & 44/100% Pure Horror (Live On YouTube)
Five hosts talk about our fifth episode about paintings. Join Phoenix, Adam, Frank, Jansen and Richard as they discuss 99 & A Long Ass Title. It’s almost good? Right? Something about soap and acid. Skip this one.
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13: Tales From The Crypt - 308 - Easel Kill Ya (Live On YouTube)
Tim Roth came along to save us from shit episodes of this series. So far we are 2 for 9 of the original series. In this episode we have a 4 person panel with guests Frank, Adam and Jansen to discuss this episode about painting cardboard with brain matter and how you can make a ton of money doing so. Consider that free career advice!
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12: Tales From The Crypt - 705 - Horror In The Night (Live)
After over an hour of computer problems we were rewarded for our struggle with this turd of an episode. Imagine if Guy Ritchie made a student film because he loved Tarantino. Imagine a good story told here. Imagine it because it’s the only way you’re getting one. Phoenix, Adam and Frank do their best to describe this turd. SURPRISE she’s gone. Wait, she’s back. SURPRISE there’s blood. Wait no, it’s gone. Aren’t you amazed at the thick plot?
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11: Tales From The Crypt - 314 - Yellow (Live On YouTube)
Our first episode on YouTube and apparently that is our good luck charm because we are amazed to discover a non-terrible episode of TFTC! Seriously. This is our first good episode of the series and we were live to express it.
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10: Tales From The Cryptkeeper - 308 - Drawn And Quartered
Remember Korman’s Kalamity? Welcome back to a drawn version of it. Phoenix is very angry for this one.
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9: Tales From The Crypt - 512 - Half-way Horrible
Well, at least this title sets you up for what to expect. Adam and Phoenix watch as Clancy Brown fights or starts a voodoo conspiracy about making apples last years. Voodoo preservatives? Santaria preservation? Who cares. It sucks.
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8: Tales From The Crypt - 510 - Came The Dawn
We just recorded this episode and I already forgot the plot. Oh wait. Psycho. That’s the plot. Enjoy? Frank and Adam join to break down this episode of Psycho.
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7: Tales From The Cryptkeeper - 312 - Monsters Ate My Homework
Yet another cartoon episode. This time it’s the first one from the 1999 season. A kid lies about monsters eating his homework and then find out monsters have a crack fix for homework that he has to deal with. A real boy who cried monsters.
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