Do not read this episode description while driving. If you do then you should die.
614 - Things That Will Burn In Hell - 88 - Public Restrooms
Bring on the vanilla and genocide.
613 - Things That Will Burn In Hell - 82 - State Mottos
Phoenix West: The Sexual Fire State.
612 - Things That Will Burn In Hell - 78 - Modern Art
Andy Warhol does not equal art. Twisted Metal is a video game and is not art. But the video game is art. It gets confusing.
611 - LIW The Walking Dead Review - 117 - The Walking Dead - 811 - Dead Or Alive Or
This review started off normal before it became a rage-filled rant against AMC. I seriously didn't expect it to be that way but once I started discussing a scene in this WD episode it made me realize how shitty AMC is handling this show. AMC, fuck yourselves.
610 - LIW The Walking Dead Review - 116 - The Walking Dead - 810 - The Lost And The Plunderers
I forgot this show existed. Seriously. Nobody talks about The Walking Dead anymore. AMC has earned that reaction. Today's episode is about... people being dicks to each other just like every other episode. Aaron hides behind a tree and we leave him there. Rick yells at Negan like an angry teenage boy finally telling off his father. Simon steals the show yet again.
609 - LIW The Twilight Zone Review - 103 - The Simi Valley Acorn Is Still Written In The Twilight Zone
Time to visit this podcasts favorite newspaper: The Simi Valley Acorn which is still being written and distributed inside The Twilight Zone. This place must be a magical mess. Today Phoenix tackles a creepy photographer, an article about people staring at chalk, an officer that cheated on his timecard and then discusses the best pro sport there is: pickleballing. What is pickleballing? You'll have to listen to find out. Spoiler: we don't find out.
608 - LIW The Twilight Zone Review - 102 - Little Girl Lost (TZ 326)
Kids are always falling out of bed, rolling under the bed and then doing rolls into the wall into the fourth dimension. Phoenix and Frank discuss the drunken wreck that is the wife and the abusive prick that is the dad. Plus, we all need a friend like Bill.
607 - Things That Will Burn In Hell - 71 - Fast Food (Rapes America) Part III
If you're here to fuck around then tune out. This episode is only for those that are serious about their fitness and nutrition regiments. Fast food is a bullet and you're loading your own fat, face gun. You make me sick. Go get health and fitness advice at our website.
606 - Things That Will Burn In Hell - 86 - Sexual Rap Songs
We're no longer "let's get it on"-ing. Now we're "suck this till all the cream is gone"-ing. Do you like sex? Aren't you special? Better start writing songs about that unique pastime of yours.
605 - Things That Will Burn In Hell - 77 - Fe-Male Drivers
Vaginaccident. Clitowreck. Mini-Vulvan-Collision. Pull Ovaries and give the motormenstralcycles some womb to drive! And so on.
603 - Things That Will Burn In Hell - 61 - Thinking Is Cheating
Don't you dare think of another web-based comedy series when you're watching this you cheating asshole!
602 - Things That Will Burn In Hell - 50 - The M. Night Catalogue
I feel like M. Night's career is one big performance like Andy Kauffman. Only nobody is laughing. Except his bank account. Either way, fuck all but 2 of his movies.
601 - Things That Will Burn In Hell - 46 - Cupid (The Romantic Ninja)
Lonely? You're the perfect victim for the saint of archery/murder. He will fucking shoot you with a razor sharp arrow in the goddamn heart so hard that you will be forced into loving another person. Because it just makes sense.
604 - Things That Will Burn In Hell - 76 - NASCAR
Cars go vrooom in a circle. Repeat. Repeat the same shitty mistakes. Your life is a shitty full-circle joke.
600 - Things That Will Burn In Hell - 70 - Fireworks
I say no thank you to boring war on the sky. Just... no thank you.
597 - Things That Will Burn In Hell - 53 - 'God Damn' The Offended
This episode started off as a rant about not being able to say the phrase 'god dammit' but ended up being a rageful rant about my goddamn phone and its nonstop goddamn ringing and beeping while I was trying to record. What you are about to watch is real. The people in it are real. The names have not been changed to protect the goddamn innocent.
598 - Things That Will Burn In Hell - 56 - Bumper Stickers Part II
Back again for more hot bumper sticker talk. Not sure why I didn't just make this all one chapter in the book but that's 2006 Phoenix for you. I can't explain that guy. I still hate bumper stickers though. Some things never change.
599 - Things That Will Burn In Hell - 66 - Stephen King Novels & Movies
Write-recycle-repeat-write-recycle-repeatmakesPhoenixadullreader.....
595 - Things That Will Burn In Hell - 45 - Nextel Phones...
Introducing the new luxury automobile from Nextel: The 2018 Nextel Shitty. Watch the episode to understand that one. Or not. The image explains it all, really. Nextel 2 Way phones were a great and convenient way to communicate with a real live demon.