Somehow this ended up being a very good movie. Didn’t see that coming through visions that are dreamy and nauseating.
32: Ranking John Carpenter Movies #10-1 (Live)
We cover our top 10 Carpenter movies here! This is the official last episode of this podcast. UNLESS we randomly decide to talk about one of the movies he wrote but those are not on the agenda. Thanks for joining us on this weird journey. RIP Adam Wilcox, we wish you were here for this.
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31: Ranking John Carpenter Movies #24-11 (Live)
In this one we cover the bottom section of our Carpenter movies. You can probably guess which ones make our lists.
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30: The Ward (2010) (Live)
I’ve seen this twice and still barely remember what it’s about. I think I remember a twist ending where the spooky spooky ghost is also Amber Heard? I don’t remember. This movie really….shit the bed. Had to.
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29: Captain Voyeur (1969) (Live)
Writing this before watching this college short. The poster for our show makes me think this is just a snuff film but we shall find out. UPDATE: Just watched it and didn’t realize how literal the “worst superhero name ever” is. Still gonna leave that description in the podcast notes.
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28: Memoirs Of An Invisible Man (1992) (Live)
Is Chevy Chase just the worst person? Does literally anyone like him? I don’t mean like him in some movies but I mean EVERYONE that works with him ends up hating him. Either way, he’s wrong for this movie and so is John Carpenter.
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27: Starman (1984) (Live)
Bird-alien Jeff Bridges takes Indy’s slam piece across the country to a meteor crater. Sounds lame and honestly it’s boring but still good. Did you know they made a Starman TV show after this? It really isn’t that bad.
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26: Assault On Precinct 13 (1976) (Live)
Behold as zombie gang members do things off screen because it’s cheaper that way. They attack the cops, the criminals and the comatose robot that is…. whatever her name is. She’s on our poster…that lady.
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25: Pro-Life (2007) (Live)
Stop being so anti-pro-anti-un-de-for-against-with-beside-anti-plus-il- Pro-Life already. You make me sick. Whichever side of the aisle you are….you can’t tell me this is good with a straight face. I will abort your opinion.
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24: Elvis (1979) (Live)
Our favorite pedophile grooming story came to life! Allegedly. Elvis changed music forever. He also changed the inside of a teenager forever. We discuss the movie along with guess what Elvis must have been like in real life. We wonder why this movie avoided anything that actually made the story interesting.
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23: The Fog (1980) (Live)
Is this Carpenter’s worst movie? I mean, worst of his good ones…. I mean…. you know what, decide for yourself. Either way I barely stayed awake during this story of ghost/zombie pirates/sailors.
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22: Halloween (1978) (Live)
It’s the day before Halloween so why not finally get to Halloween….the movie? It’s the classic movie that started all the terrible terrible terrible terrible sequels. What a waste of a franchise. Too bad Adam isn’t here to enjoy it with us.
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21: Top 10 Comedy Films #5-1 (Live)
The epic conclusion to our lists. Nobody cares. These movies make us laugh so hard we almost forget our souls are black.
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20: Top 10 Comedy Films #10-6 (Live)
We were originally going to do this right after Halloween III but shit got in the way. Adam was supposed to do his list as well but shit happened. Anyway, here is the bottom half of our top 10 comedy film lists.
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19: Lockout (2012) (Live)
I love trilogies when the third movie is sued into existence. We ditch Snake for Snow and rescue the president’s daughter in space. It’s what Carpenter wanted for the third one. We get it…..kinda. This is a lame script surrounded by great actors and sets. What’s in the suitcase? Nothing. What’s on the chip? Oh, it doesn’t matter. No sequel so who cares?
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18: Halloween III: Season Of The Witch (1982) (Live)
We originally did this movie back on 10.11.2016 for B-Movie Battle! 3. Now it’s time to bring in more victims to cover this amazing film. I might have oversold it. Swap out Michael Myers for some dollar store masks that aren’t even remotely scary. Oh, they turn your face into bugs and snakes because of Stonehenge. Just accept that and move on.
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17: Body Bags (1993) (Live)
This is a weird movie full of random things. It was truly a joy to discuss after we were forced to watch an episode of Chiller on LIW Anthology Series Review.
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16: Vampires (1998) (Live)
James Woods versus vampires. YES! Or more honestly…WHY? Who thought this was a good idea? Anyone? Will we eventually do the sequel starring J.B. Jovi?
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15: Cigarette Burns (2005) (Live)
The Walking Dead’s star Norman Reedus stars in this movie/tv show. We mostly spend our time wishing the ending was different.
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14: Top 10 Directors #5-1 (Live)
We finish off our lists by covering 5-1. Who will win the top spots? It’s fairly obvious if you listen to any of our shows.
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