Sometimes it takes 13 minutes to get to a punchline. If so your joke set-up better be awesome with lots of twists and turns and weird shit. Not just a woman freaking out to an uninterested man.
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Frances Conroy stars in this original version of both TZ2019’s The Comedian and TZ1985’s Button, Button which happens later in this season. At least it’s short. This one actually could have been longer if they had a little more going on but it’s fine. It’s just fine.
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Guessed this entire episode during the opening scene. Fred Savage, Tom Skerritt, Lukas Haas and Mark-Paul Gosselaar can’t even save this one. It’s not horrible but feels like an episode of Are You Afraid Of The Dark? That wasn’t a question, the show name just has a question mark on it.
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Mrs. Doubtfire is called old and ugly but then a frog makes her young. It’s a classic fairy tale done in typical Night Gallery fashion. Which means it’s boring and overly long. Plus, she ends up greedy like everyone else.
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Well, this time it’s not a vampire. It’s just BASICALLY a vampire. Stealing blood to maintain your immortality is a vampire in my book. Enjoy this movie full of workplace arguments and sweaty men.
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I think we were all expecting a standard police drama about trying to catch Richard Ramirez, The Night Stalker. However that’s clearly not what we got. Nobody seems to give a shit that vampires exist in this world.
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You are supposed to remember this episode as one of the greats. It has a good premise but it’s way too long and has two endings.
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A cursed guitar will curse you. Frank doesn’t understand that concept. To be fair it’s not explained well. Can he play another guitar with the same skill? How did his fingers heal so quickly? How much time is covered in this?
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H.P. Lovecraft has let me down 100% of the time. A woman (for some reason) ignores a thousand red flags while falling in love with a Spanish dude. Wait, that previous sentence wasn’t meant to sound racist. He isn’t giving out red flags because he’s Spanish. He just happens to be Spanish in this story and appears to be a red flag salesman. Wait, that previous sentence wasn’t meant to disparage salesmen…. You know what? Fuck it. It’s just a bad episode about a melting man.
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Welcome to an episode where a man decides who we shun or cancel and expects the rest of the world to just bow to his commands. He is basically the beta debut of Twitter. This episode would never win any of the poll we win but thanks to the NCAA bracket it is the winner. Didn’t want us to redux this episode? Blame the Baylor Bears men’s basketball team then.
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I don’t even know what this is. It’s just…. strange. And pointless. Mostly pointless.
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This episode was the runner up of The Twilight Zone Twitter Bracket Poll 2. We are slowly getting these redux episodes out of the way. It’s always nice to go back to the OG series. Enjoy this mannequin episode. Oh, spoilers.
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Is this even a story? It’s more a slightly amusing anecdote. And barely that. Still better than the previous episode about a mermaid.
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So did he fuck the mermaid? I mean…. it seemed like he did. And that was before it had lady genitals. It was just a fish. Who else watched this looking to see if they slipped some nudity in?
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The remake of Walking Distance had a lot of child abuse. Is it still pedophilia if it’s your younger self?
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Turns out there is an original episode of the 2019 Twilight Zone episode Meet In The Middle. It’s about different timelines with a complete idiot teenager who will surely die alone banging a rock.
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There is a special level of hell for Jack Laird. Although this is his best outing so far. This is only 7 minutes and still managed to waste your time.
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Glue this together with Nightmare At 20,000 Feet and you get yourself 2019’s Nightmare At 30,000 Feet. This is a waste of time. Completely.
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The story/episode that Richard Kelly’s last movie was based on. His last movie was 2009. It was The Box. This episode however has the most annoying couple that I hoped they died the entire time.
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Snooze. We hate painting episodes. We hate them on all our shows.
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