Kids are always falling out of bed, rolling under the bed and then doing rolls into the wall into the fourth dimension. Phoenix and Frank discuss the drunken wreck that is the wife and the abusive prick that is the dad. Plus, we all need a friend like Bill.
Watch as a man walks around alone and screams at all the nobody there. Watch as a man walks around alone and fights a phone booth. Watch other things as well.
NAMBLA endorses this episode of The Twilight Zone. Watch this episode and then scrub yourself afterward because you will feel sick. Just listen to this episode and count how many times the word 'pedophile' comes up.
Considered one of the best TZ episodes for some reason. It's a good episode with a ton of flaws. Mainly being if your overall goal is to come to earth to trick people into willingly coming back to your home planet so that you can eat them there... why the holy fuck bring the goddamn cook book to earth at all? You especially wouldn't just leave it behind after a meeting for the people to find and possibly translate. These are supposed to be superior creatures.
Welcome to the mid-west where everyone has southern accents and say southern sayings and live in the south but is still the mid-west for some reason. A totally mid-western man awakens in his coffin at his funeral but don't you dare sue his doctor for malpractice. Watch as this zombie pedophile threatens people with horrific plagues before escorting his underage bride-to-be through the gates of hell.
Another redux episode so Frank can chime in to talk about this selfish pedophile's battle against Death who apparenly has a quota like a ticket giving motorcycle cop. Why does Death carry cash? Why does he need so many ties? How do you grab a toy robot by mistake when you were trying to grab a tie? Why would birds carry silk across the ocean to make ties? So many tie related questions. Lou? Lou. Lou! Lou... Lou, can you hear me, Lou?
Songs that make reveal your true inner self. Who needs a lie detector test when they can just bring in a player piano into the courtroom and get people truly talking? Best 'rich guy' villain so far in the TZ. We are back with our sound mixer and Frank's slurring makes a furious comeback. Witness the hot mess.
They kick a can in the most confusing game of hide-and-seek ever where you count by 5's to 100. Aluminum cans apparently have magical powers that transport you from death's door to a physically abused child of 8. It's just the worst.
Rance is a first name. Believe it. The production featured in this episode is beyond inept. They allow the star to make major plot changes to the show on a whim. They have the camera directly behind the director and script supervisor. They apparently have an unlimited mirror budget. They get zero coverage for the editor so good luck getting those stunt double shots in there.
Watch in awe as an old man mocks his 50 year old wife in old lady make-up about how he never touches her anymore before he dies in a mild stream. Then he almost goes somewhere and then goes somewhere else. The end. AWE.
Magic shoes and shitty sound quality sum up this episode. If you're curious about the sound then check out the 2018 State Of The Studio Address episode that you probably skipped. You make bad life choices. So do bums with their shoe theft plans that get them killed. Anyway, we are back and so is Dane.
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Cut the last 2 minutes and this episode is amazing. For once the twist endings got in the way of our enjoyment. Either way, witness the most pathetic person ever scream out the most pathetic dialogue ever. Witness two podcasters do the same. Or something. Whatever makes the joke work.
Another redux episode. Somehow Frank doesn't love this one as much as he does the one where the guy lays on a couch and goddamn dies. Is this the creepiest episode of The Twilight Zone ever? The guy admits to having a crush on a 10-11 year old when he's easily 25 years older than the girl. He also still carries around a photograph of the girl from that age. He then has the balls to show the grown up the photo of her a a child. So yeah, it's pretty creepy.
Rod ruins this episode several times before the reveal even happens so why bother watching this, right? Actually it's a sweet episode with a nice little lesson in it. It's not terribly exciting but if you're a fan of antiques then this is your goddamn episode. Fan of hoarding? Your episode. Fan of murdering old ladies? Please stop listening to our show and go turn yourself in.
Racist or nah? Phoenix and Frank come up with several different ideas of how to do this episode in a better way. We don't think the actor himself had to turn Japanese. We really think so.
If you've ever wanted a Toy Story / Saw crossover then you're in luck. These toys have souls and are tortured by that fact. The toy gods over at Mattel have some explaining to do. Oh shit, they sponsored this episode. Those toy gods over at Mattel have some great products. If you buy your child a homelessman action figure then you hate your goddamn kids. At least give them to the orphans. As if they don't have enough problems.
All the best stories revolve around elderly janitors. It isn't depressing as shit or anything. Phoenix and Frank start off talking about having to masturbate to VHS porn before the internet was around. It's a rough life, folks. Oh yeah, we also discuss this episode of The Twilight Zone.
Another redux episode where Frank gets to chime in on a season 1 gem. This is one of Frank's favorite episodes and Phoenix couldn't give a shit less. Phoenix tries to argue about what changes he would have made but Frank argues that what you see is what they did so that's that. Phoenix uses this logic to describe how much Frank should love Kid Rock if that's the way he's going to argue. It's messy.
So. Here we are. Another shitty TZ episode. It hasn't been long since the last one. This one features a man that has to conscious when it comes to tearing up the African jungle. Except the longest scene in the episode where he clearly has a problem with it. Whatever. He befriends a homeless superhero and his wife turns into a wig and a wax hand. Something like that.