Bonus: Face/Off (1997) from LIW Movie Review

This is the very first episode of LIW Studios and therefore the very first episode of Loitering IN Wonderland Movie Review. It debuted 12.13.2013 and I've decided to re-release it on this feed because obviously. To listen to more of those podcast movie reviews, subscribe to LIW Movie Review wherever you get your podcasts.

11: Con Air (1997)

Someone delivers some packages for Phoenix. Creepy packages with vague threats. Does he listen? What do you think? He takes to the sky aboard Con Airlines along with the 20 celebrities on board. Phoenix "The Penis" West riffs his way through this overly long action movie starring a bored and buff Nic Cage.

10: National Treasures (2004-2007)

We knew we would eventually have to watch both National Treasure movies but that doesn't mean we can't watch them both at the exact same time. Side by side, Phoenix watches both movies at once. Will he follow the deep storylines of both films at once?? Yes. Yes he did. It wasn't even slightly hard. Most of this episode is Phoenix passing the time while making Are You Afraid Of The Dark and Ron Howard references. It's a bit long but it's 2 movies at once so that was bound to happen. You'll learn to deal with it. Through years of unsuccessful therapy.

9: The Wicker Man (2006)

Warning: This is the audio only, taken from a YouTube show Shitty Movie Showdown! To get the full experience, click here:

The Wicker Man is the lamest superhero story ever told. His only super power was the abilities to yell at school girls and punch women in the face. Don't get us wrong, those are both great powers but they can only get you so far in life. Prison. That's how far you can get. In this live commentary review of The Wicker Man, Phoenix marvels at the most boring actress ever, how much of the runtime is watching Cage wander an island, how every noise is apparently Rowan, how much fun it is to sing Don't Worry, Be Epi and he even attempts to figure out why Cage has visions that are never explained. THE WICKER MAN!!! Find out exactly how Ghost Rider got on fire in this prequel.

8: USS Indianapolis: Men Or Courage (2016)

Nic Cage Cast has merged with Shitty Movie Showdown! This is the last episode shot before the merger. It was edited afterward.

This is another very visual episode of Nic Cage Cast. To get the full video experience, click here:

Phoenix picked this movie because of the insanely stupid looking poster it had. The one where everyone looked confused as to why they were in a movie. Some even surprised to find out they made the movie already. The poster, however, was not an indication of this Mario Van Peebles movie which turned out to be fairly decent. The only thing Phoenix knew about the USS Indianpolis historically was that it carried the nukes that took out Japan. Yep. That is all over with less than an hour into the 2 hour 10 minute long movie. The rest of the film is...something incredibly unepected. Watch out for sharks. Or just leave your feet dangling in the water. It's your preference.

Music by Song used: Straight

7: Industrial Symphony No. 1: The Dream Of The Brokenhearted (1990)

Nic Cage Cast has merged with Shitty Movie Showdown! This episode was recorded before the merger but edited afterward.

Warning: this is a very visual episode of Nic Cage Cast. To get the full experience, watch the YouTube video this audio is from here:

In this TV movie from human filmmaker David Lynch, Nic Cage stars as a guy on the phone for 20 seconds before never being seen or heard from again. Perhaps someone should have paid the ghost so he would be in more of the film. The rest of the 55 minute runtime is filled with a bizarre stage production consisting of noises and strange people doing stupid things while people flash lights at them in a desperate attempt to make it look weird and meaningfull. Hot Topic: The Movie was as much fun as it sounds.

6: Zandalee (1991)

Nic Cage Cast is different now. Gone are the long reviews about the movie. Now the show has more variety to keep in line with the Shitty Movie Showdown! reviews. After all, Phoenix IS kidnapped and held in an undisclosed location so he might as well watch some Cage movies, right?

What Nic Cage movie will it be this time? Only the Gods know. And by gods, we mean ping pong balls thrown into a bucket. It truly was a random selection this time around. This is one angry review.

5: Pay The Ghost (2015)

What happens when you cast Nic Cage in a movie where his child is stolen by a ghost witch? The answer is: not much. He doesn't scream at strangers for his child enough. He only gets in ONE fist-fight with a ghost witch. He doesn't do...well, anything for the most part. What a letdown.

4: City Of Angels (1998)

For the full experience, watch this video show at

There is a god. And he's a huge dick. In this Nic Cage classic, Nic plays a literal angel named Seth that falls in love with pre-surgery Meg Ryan. Then he has to murder himself to be with her. He gets inside that hot hot Meg Ryan body exactly once before she is killed. Oh, spoiler alert for the movie City Of Angels. You had 18 years to watch it and you waited until right now to read up on it? A review show on the movie wasn't a good place to start. I don't feel bad for you. You should go make yourself a human.

3: Trapped In Paradise (1994)

Nic Cage Cast - Episode 3 - Trapped In Paradise (1994)

The internet chose Trapped In Paradise as the next Nic Cage movie for Phoenix to watch. A movie starring three legends of SNL: Dana Carvey, Jon Lovitz and... Nic Cage. In this review, he reflects back on how he used to enjoy the movie as a child, somehow. He discusses the plot in an out of order fashion because this movie has almost no plot other than having to leave town. Oh, and this movie has the sensitivity of an Adam Sandler movie toward the mentally challenged. What kind of Cage is in this film? Find out by watching the episode, obviously.

2: Ghost Rider: Spirit Of Vengeance (2011)

Now, let's be clear. Phoenix is NOT reviewing the movies but instead reviewing Nic Cage's performance in the movies. Also, this is a video show. This podcast is the audio track only so for the full experience click here: Loitering In Wonderland YouTube page

Phoenix watched Ghost Rider: Spirit Of Vengeance because a website randomly generated it as the next movie despite Phoenix not remembering the first Ghost Rider 'film'. With the use of clips from the movie, Phoenix will tell you exactly why this movie didn't work. Lack of movie enjoyment did not alleviate the swelling in his Cagerection. Now I really wish we titled this show "Cagerection." Is it too late to change it?

1: The Trust (2016)

Welcome to the first episode of Nic Cage Cast. Now, let's be clear. Phoenix is NOT reviewing the movies but instead reviewing Nic Cage's performance in the movies. Also, this is a video show. This podcast is the audio track only so for the full experience click here: Loitering In Wonderland YouTube page

In this episode, Phoenix West watched the newest Nic Cage movie. 2016's The Trust, starring Nic Cage and Elijah Wood. Plus Jerry Lewis for some reason. Phoenix will explain exactly what kind of Nic Cage movie this is based on 3 options: 1. Rage Cage, 2. Quirk Cage, 3. Quiet Cage. This show contains spoilers.