Write something for Daryl please. He's just turned into a sweaty, hairy guy that grunts out one line per episode now. Seriously, you could kill his character off right now and I wouldn't even care. I want to care. I want to like Daryl but having him kill two people without a care in the world just makes me think he actually should be dead. He's a... monster.
104: The Walking Dead - 802 - The Damned
Two episodes into season 8 and we already have an episode that is completely pointless. Seriously, nothing in this episode matters. If you went straight from 801 to 803, it would be the same. Anyway, welcome Morales back to the show. I know you all missed him so much. Remember...he's the guy that fled with his family at the tail end of season 1. Well, he's back so deal with it.
103: The Walking Dead - 801 - Mercy
For the first time in years, the opening episode of the season has me excited for the season to come. The pacing is much better. The story structure is insanely better. Rick's haircut is much worse though. But I'll live with that fact. Anyway, is it all a dream? Better not be.
102: The Walking Dead - 800 - Behind The Dead & Season 8 Predictions
Phoenix goes over the episode 716 Alternate Cut and how the title is deceiving. It only added one short scene. That's an extended cut. He also reviews the behind the scenes special for season 8 before getting into his season 8 predictions. Are you excited for season 8? Phoenix isn't sure either.
101: Fear The Walking Dead - 316 - Sleigh Ride
You can go ahead and kill Madison if you want. Seriously. This isn't reverse psychology. Do it. Anyway, shit happens in this episode and Aerosmith fights the Clark family. Madison has pointless visions about a zombie Christmas dinner. For some reason. It doesn't matter. AMC, you can kill her if you want.
100: Fear The Walking Dead - 315 - Things Bad Begun
Our main chacters get 30 seconds of peace before being attacked by a new group of assholes. They really squeezed 4 episodes of story into the last two episodes but I'd rather have that than the way The Walking Dead makes 2 episodes worth of story last half a season. Anyway, Madison ups her bad decision making skills with a random murder and I can't follow the Victor nonsense anymore.
99: Fear The Walking Dead - 314 - El Matadero
Welcome new Michonne into the show as she becomes fast friends with Alicia. Ophelia's reign of boring has come to a close. Nick's stint with sobriety has been derailed by eating a brain stem of insanity. Madison makes another terrible decision that just happens to work out for the group.
98: The Walking Dead - 201 - What Lies Ahead
Prepare to look for Sophia. This isn't a 'whodunnit' but more a 'whogivesashit' because Sophia sucks. Why does Rick think being on his back under a truck is better than his stomach? Wrong. Shane and Andrea are the odd men out of the group. Dale is watching Andrea too closely. At least he's not fucking her like in the comic. Carl looks like a baby back in season 2. Lori defends Rick. Carol sucks still. Sophia is missing but whogivesashit?
97: Fear The Walking Dead - 313 - This Land Is Your Land
This episode confused the holy hell out of Phoenix while also being a quality episode. Why does Alicia have perfect makeup during the zombie apocalypse? Why aren't they sending the bitten to go fix the AC? Why did everyone goddamn die except our main characters? None if it made any sense but it had great moments.
Also, Phoenix does a serious tribute to Tom Petty which might be the only serious moment on any LIW show to date.
96: Fear The Walking Dead - 312 - Brother's Keeper
We've officially entered TWD storytelling path. One episode here, the next there. Please don't hang out in this territory too long. This episode isn't what I thought it would be. It wasn't about a civil war. It was about a zombie war. It's about brother against brother...which sounds like a civil war description but isn't. Wait what?
95: Fear The Walking Dead - 311 - La Serpiente
If you love watching actors spouting out serious dialogue all the while having poop smeared on their faces and clothing, this is the episode you've been waiting for. You disgusting, disgusting human being. This is also yet another episode entirely based on water. The most exciting element after fire and earth.
94: Fear The Walking Dead - 310 - The Diviner
Yet another episode where Phoenix rants about the difference between FTWD and TWD when it comes to pacing. This episode isn't amazing but it's a great example of how to cut between two different storylines. TWD needs to learn to do this. No, we did not need an entire episode about Tara hanging out at a girl's camp. That could have been PART of an episode. Not the ENTIRE episode. Anyway, this episode is about water drug dealing and how to not do it. Madison makes terrible decisions. But you knew that already.
93: Fear The Walking Dead - 309 - Minotaur
Madison is a terrible leader and should be discredited whenever she speaks. With that being said, Phoenix is very excited about where this season is headed. This specific episode is all about fear, paranoia and water. This Otto clan is so weak that it takes them a total of two days to devolve into a Lord Of The Flies situation. Weak gang, bro.
92: Fear The Walking Dead - 308 - Children Of Wrath
Phoenix started this out with a test. Run down the main characters. Which ones do you care about? If they died would you care? Do you like them? Phoenix reveals his answer before and after the mid-season finale. Okay. Let's begin. This episode contained 2 heads delivered in bags and that's a pretty decent amount of heads. It also featured a desperate plea from the writers of the show to the audience to not hate their top billed actress. It didn't work. Good episode but didn't feel like a mid-season finale.
91: Fear The Walking Dead - 307 - The Unveiling
This episode is the worst. Not the worst episode but literally all the worst things are happening. Nick is sick and maybe dying. Alicia is nothing still. Madison is in charge. Victor and Daniel are MIA. Ofelia is the new villain. Lucianna is still alive. Following kid is nearly scalped. What the fuck is happening? In no way could this be a result of Madison constantly making the worst decisions possible. Nope. Phoenix also breaks down how those terrible decisions must be handled by Madison.
90: Fear The Walking Dead - 306 - Red Dirt
This episode is full of stupid choices that lead stupid characters to stupid places. Also, some of our characters are mind readers. It's true. Watch the episode and you'll see. Or save yourself 40 minutes and don't watch it. You'll miss my grandpa who appears in this episode. It's not true. Anyway, this episode was all the fuck over the place and it's pretty much just a filler episode for the season.
89: Fear The Walking Dead - 305 - Burning In Water, Drowning In Flame
This episode featues a great buddy road scene, elderly murder-suicide, house fire, Dear John letter, compounded lies, the worst gift in the world and waking up a near murder. Plus, Phoenix cannot keep Ofelia and Luciana seperate. He knows the difference in the characters but cannot say the right name and it's destroying his brain. He will be insane by the end of this season.
88: Fear The Walking Dead - 304 - 100
Daniel is back and sexier than ever. He meets Jesus, confesses his sins, is forgiven and then god saves his life via lightening. It's all very biblical and unnecessary. Regardless, this episode is Phoenix's favorite episode of the series so far. This episode also doesn't feature a single member of the Clark family. Coincidence? Nope.
87: Fear The Walking Dead - 303 - Teotwawki
This episode is super awkward followed by super awesome. Starts off with a great VHS training video in the vein of American't 6: Customer Service. Go watch that on our YouTube page. Seriously. Go. Anyway, Madison sucks. Alicia sucks. Nick is awesome. Travis is still dead. Sons Of Anarchy guy is a mystery. The Following kid is an awesome pussy. His brother is a lovable psychopath. Oh, there is a head in a cage in a bucket that can somehow make noises despite not having vocal chords. Who knows. It's just whatever you want with zombies.
86: Fear The Walking Dead - 302 - The New Frontier
During this opening sentence, several characters on popular shows have died. This episode is strange. Shocking beginning. Incest in the center. Boring conversations at the end. Want to hold a folder for a few seconds? Okay I'll take it back now. Thanks for holding it. I don't get it. Everyone on this show seems so mysterious and weird. Not sure this show is worth watching anymore. Not sure...